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​What is Assertiveness?

By Tchiki Davis, MA, PhD
Emotional skills: Assertiveness
*This page may include affiliate links; that means I earn from qualifying purchases of products.

What Is Assertiveness?

Assertiveness refers to your ability to stand up for yourself, speak up for others, and communicate your needs. Assertiveness involves being firm, but not hostile and using statements that represent your point of view without putting others down.

Why is it important to build this skill?

When you are assertive, other people know your boundaries. You ensure that the people in your life know when they have crossed the line and the consequences for doing so. This skill helps you build healthier relationships that are based on mutual respect, trust, and honesty. Although assertiveness can sometimes be uncomfortable, it's worth it to prevent your relationships from becoming unfair or unequal.
positivity, resilience, and mindfulness
​Activities to develop this skill:
Positive Qualities
Emotion activities: Positive personality
To accept and express yourself, it's important to remember all your great qualities. In this activity, you explore the positive aspects of your personality.
Assertiveness
Feeling rejected: Emotion activity
For this activity, you are going to reflect a bit on your interpersonal style to make sure that you are relating to others in ways that are fair to you. In this activity, you learn the emotion skill, assertiveness, to better advocate for yourself.

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About Dr. Tchiki Davis
Dr. Davis is founder of The Berkeley Well-Being Institute. After getting her PhD in psychology at Berkeley, she started creating online content & programs to boost well-being—some of these have reached more than a million people. As author of Outsmart Your Smartphone, and contributor to Psychology Today, The Greater Good Science Center, and Shine Text, Dr. Davis aims to share her insights on happiness & health with people all across the world. Learn more about Dr. Davis.
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