Nervousness: Definition, Symptoms, & Relief​

By Charlie Huntington, M.A., Ph.D. Candidate
Nervousness is a natural, common stress response to perceived or actual threat in our environment. How can we best cope with the inevitable moments of nervousness in our lives?
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A few months ago, I started dating again, ending over a year of intentional singledom. I felt more comfortable in my own skin, much better about where I was professionally and personally, and ready to go out and meet some interesting people. I had spent a lot of time working on myself, building up to a point where I knew I was ready for a relationship again, and ready to do it better.
And yet, standing in my city’s biggest food hall, fresh from a shower and ready for some dinner, I still found myself feeling… nervous. Only after my date arrived, and we had hugged, found our food, and settled down to get to know each other, did my nerves start to settle. The rest of the date went fine, and looking back, I was able to see my nervousness as just a natural part of meeting somebody for the first time in what felt like a high-stakes situation. (Months later, with many dates behind me, more of that pressure has dissipated, and so has the nervousness.)

It made sense that I was nervous in that moment because nervousness is inseparable from many of the moments in our lives that really matter to us. But even if we should feel nervous at times, that doesn’t mean we have to simply endure it. Let’s look at what psychology research can tell us about what nervousness is and how to deal with it.​
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What Is Nervousness? (A Definition)​

I must confess that when I sat down to write this article, I thought at first that nervousness and anxiety were pretty much the same thing. How misinformed I was! The difference between the two is actually pretty telling. Nervousness is the felt experience of being in a situation where we think something could go wrong, or where we might be in danger (Lehofer et al., 1998). By contrast, anxiety is the worry and anticipation, involving thoughts and feelings, that comes when we face the possibility of something in the future.

​​Nervousness vs Anxiety

I think this is a pretty important distinction to make. Nervousness is a response to what’s happening to us in the present moment; anxiety is a response to envisioning a scenario that has not yet come to pass. If I had been worrying about that first date of mine – double-checking my appearance, hoping I wouldn’t do anything awkward, practicing my greeting – then I would have been anxious. Instead, I was nervous in the moment: standing in the food hall, my body felt flushed and tingly and I wanted to sit down.
 
This distinction matters because nervousness is a naturally occurring physical phenomenon, while anxiety is an active interpretation of the world around us. The former is an experience that passes with time, while the latter can be long-lasting and much more impairing. It seems like the effects of nervousness are more about how we perceive our nerves than the fact that we are nervous. People who perceive themselves as especially nervous, perhaps because this perception is naturally upsetting to them, are more likely to experience negative health consequences than people who do not hold this perception of their nervousness (Weitoft & Rosen, 2005). Those of us who perceive ourselves as much more nervous as adolescents are more likely to experience mental health disorders in adulthood (Kinnunen et al., 2010).

Opposite of Nervousness​

The opposite of nervousness is calmness. For an example of this, we can compare how I felt before that first date to how I feel when I am listening to the dial tone as I call my best friend. Waiting to talk to him, I experience none of the sensations of nervousness. I am not shaking, sweating, or ready to jump out of my chair, because I do not anticipate any negative outcomes of the conversation. I feel safe, even excited, to be talking to my best friend. This is quite different from being in the heat of the moment on a first date and feeling in my body the threat of possible rejection.

Situations that once evoked nervousness in us often become less activating over time. The first time I sat down at my computer to work with a therapy client over Zoom, I felt nervous for that entire session. Nowadays, I do not feel nervous about meeting a new client in this way. I know what my role is and what my plan for the session is, and I feel comfortable executing the plan.​

What Does Nervousness Feel Like?

Nervousness is the arousal in our bodies that gets triggered by situations that may be threatening to us. It feels like our whole bodies are on alert. We are more aware of our surroundings, of our senses, of our pulse in our temples, necks, or chests. We may experience a desire to fight, flee, or some combination of the two.

When I think of nervousness, I think of the cat who lives in my house as she comes in the front door. Her movements are slow and furtive; her eyes are wide open, and her ears are pointed up and outward. She is looking forward to making it to her bowl of food high up on the counter, but wary of encountering along the way the yappy little dog who also lives in our house. If you can imagine being in her body in that moment, you are bringing yourself into the sensations of nervousness.

Another way that nervousness may feel is, well, painful. It seems that when we are nervous, we have a lower threshold for experiencing pain (Lehofer et al., 1998). This makes sense; when we are nervous, our bodies are primed for changes in our environments, for threats appearing, for the possibility of harm.​

Nervousness Signs & Symptoms

A person who has been diagnosed with depression or anxiety is also more likely to experience nervousness in situations that might be threatening (Park & Kim, 2020), so it may be reasonable to anticipate that people with these diagnoses will respond to their environments with stronger responses of nervousness. In addition to keeping this characteristic in mind, we can look for the characteristic symptoms of nervousness described in the next few sections of this article.

Nervousness & Sweating

When people are nervous, they are more likely to sweat – it is a classic symptom of nervousness (Bogels & Reith, 1999). When this happens, this is your body’s natural response to being overheated with nervousness - it wants to decrease the temperature in your system, so it sweats to cool you off. When you are wanting to look your best at an important work function or when meeting your partner’s family for the first time, I hope it can be some comfort that this is just your body doing its best to stay regulated so you can handle the situation well!

Nervousness & Shaking​

Shaking in one’s body is another classic sign of nervousness (Bogels & Reith, 1999). The few times I have performed music in front of other people, I am always amazed by how much trembling I experience in my body. Maybe this is why in the movies, people are always dropping whatever they’re holding when they come face-to-face with their love interest.

Nervousness & Diarrhea

Although there is research suggesting that people who often have diarrhea may have higher rates of anxiety and depression (Lee et al., 2017), I do not think this necessarily translates into a relationship between nervousness and diarrhea. Nervousness is usually limited to the situation, whereas anxiety is something that can stick with us all day. Certainly, some people may be too nervous in certain situations to use the bathroom, leading to diarrhea later on, but most chronic digestive issues are related to people carrying chronic anxiety and stress in their bodies (Lee et al., 2017).

​Take the stress quiz here.

Nervousness in Stomach

While we may not be likely to experience diarrhea as a result of our nervousness, stomach discomfort is a common aspect of feeling nervous (Norton et al., 1999). Again, however, we should keep in mind that stomach discomfort that lasts beyond the situation in which a person feels nervous may be more related to being anxious than to being nervous.

Causes of Nervousness

Why do we get nervous? We have natural responses to situations that seem threatening to us. When we carry concern about these situations, but are not actually in the situations themselves, we are experiencing anxiety. People who routinely worry about future situations may be diagnosed with anxiety disorders (Newman et al., 2013). By contrast, people who are simply reacting to a situation as it develops are experiencing nervousness. Just as it is expected that we would have a bodily response to threat, so it is expected that this bodily response should pass once the threatening context no longer applies.
​
This gives me an opportunity to mention one of my favorite stories in psychology and biology, from biologist Robert Sapolsky. It’s all in the name of the book he wrote titled Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers (Sapolsky, 2004). If a herd of zebra are attacked by lions, they all experience nervousness and they all make a run for it. The zebras that survive do not stay in that same state of arousal; once they have made it to safety, they calm back down. They do not worry about the next lion attack, so they do not develop ulcers, which are physiological manifestations of anxiety. Their nervousness lasted just as long as the situation did.

Examples of Nervousness

1. Nervousness About Public Speaking

Most people are made nervous by public speaking (Pull, 2012). Thankfully, it is possible to overcome this nervousness through dedicated practice, as well as through cognitive-behavioral therapy if necessary.

2. Nervousness Before Interview
​
People are also typically nervous prior to interviews (McCarthy & Goffin, 2004). Their nervousness can take the form of having difficulty expressing themselves, getting caught up in thinking about their appearance, wondering how the interviewer perceives them, and analyzing their own performance as it’s happening, as well as the physical symptoms of nervousness that we looked at earlier.

​Nervousness Relief

How can we get relief from our nerves? In the moment, we can utilize tools from treatments known to help people with anxiety (Kaczkurkin & Foa, 2015). For example, we learn about why we feel nervous, even reframing it as a positive part of our experience (Luong et al., 2016). After all, we are only nervous because the situation feels important to us, like we stand to lose or gain something. This can make it seem less like something that needs to be fixed, and more like a natural, even healthy, part of our day, which can help us perform better in the moment (Choi et al., 2023).

We can also practice altering our attention to focus on something that makes us less nervous (Hakamata et al., 2010). It seems like that part of our nervousness stems from focusing on things we cannot control while turning our attention to what is within our control may be beneficial and calming.

If your nervousness stems from feeling uncertain about social interactions, developing your social skills further through work on your own or in therapy may be helpful (Bogels & Voncken, 2008). And for people who experience very intense nervousness, being able to take a calming psychiatric medication before or during such situations may ultimately be necessary (Newman et al., 2013).

If you would like some more tips on overcoming nervousness in the moment, I recommend watching this video:​

Video: Tips to Overcome Public Speaking Anxiety and Nervousness

Quotes on Nervousness

  • “I don’t think you’re human if you don’t get nervous.” – Sidney Crosby
  • “The mind and the body are inextricably entwined, and rarely are their inseparability clearer than when we're under some kind of mental pressure. The moment we start trying to learn a new skill, make a decision or otherwise think on our feet, our nervous system reacts - with accelerated pulse rate, increased respiration, even sweating.” – Jeffrey Kluger
  • “I think it's healthy for a person to be nervous. It means you care - that you work hard and want to give a great performance. You just have to channel that nervous energy into the show.” – Beyonce Knowles

Articles Related to Nervousness

​Want to learn more? Check out these articles:

Books Related to Nervousness

If you’d like to keep learning more, here are a few books that you might be interested in.

Final Thoughts on Nervousness​

Ultimately, fluctuations in how nervous we feel are just a part of our everyday lives, and most of us, thankfully, are not stuck in a state of continual physiological arousal (Eckes & Nestler, 2023). You can probably expect your nervousness to come and go; it would be surprising if you were never nervous. If it seems like nervousness really gets in the way of your life, I encourage you to use the ideas and resources listed in this article; otherwise, simply accepting your nervousness may help you experience even less of it.

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