Self-Acceptance: Definition, Quotes, & How to Practice It

By Sukhman Rekhi, M.A.
​Reviewed by Eser Yilmaz, M.S., Ph.D.
What is self-acceptance? Read on to learn about the philosophy behind self-acceptance and discover effective ways to cultivate acceptance for yourself.
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From time to time, we may struggle to accept certain qualities that we have. Whether we were criticized as children or compare ourselves to what we see in popular culture or on social media, it is not always easy to find ways to extend compassion to ourselves. Nevertheless, accepting who we are remains vital for our happiness and overall well-being. 
In this article, we will talk about the philosophy behind self-acceptance, understand what self-acceptance means, and explore ways to practice being more affirming of ourselves. Ready to continue your journey toward self-acceptance?
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What Is Self-Acceptance? (A Definition)

Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and ask yourself an honest question: do I accept myself? It seems rather silly to ask ourselves that, right? Most of us would instantly answer this question with the agreement that we indeed accept ourselves. I pose this question to you because, contrary to what we might think, self-acceptance does not come naturally for many of us. Let’s talk a bit about why that may be the case.

Self-acceptance is an act of embracing all of your attributes, whether mental or physical, and positive or negative, exactly as they are (Morgado, Campana, & Tavares, 2014). 

Let’s help illustrate this concept better with an activity. Write down (or think about) three specific things about yourself that you love or feel confident about. These may be some of your strengths. For example, maybe you love how empathetic you are to others, are proud of being the first member of your family to graduate from college, and have developed a great skincare regimen that makes you feel confident in your skin. 

Now, do the opposite. Write down (or think about) three things about yourself that you are not proud of or insecure about. These may be some of your weaknesses— don’t worry, we all have them. For example, perhaps you tend to procrastinate, you skip your workout to watch a few more hours of your favorite show, or you can sometimes be impatient. 

Now, take a look at both of these lists. Which list of attributes is it easier for you to accept about yourself, the positive list or the negative one? If you’re like most people, you may accept your strengths more readily than your weaknesses because, as humans, we tend to shy away from the things we do not like about ourselves. Regardless of our nature to reject negative attributes, self-acceptance requires us to embrace all parts of ourselves. Let’s delve into why that is.

Why is Self-Acceptance Important?

Self-acceptance is necessary for our psychological health and overall well-being—it is a stepping stone for improving ourselves. Read below for a more in-depth explanation of each of these facets. 

Self Acceptance for Psychological Health
Low self-acceptance can be one way that our psychological health suffers. When we don’t fully accept ourselves, we put ourselves at a higher risk for experiencing symptoms of anxiety and depression (Macinnes, 2006). In particular, when we reject negative qualities about ourselves, it can lead us to ruminate about these attributes, which can encourage negative self-talk. Examples of negative self-talk may include statements such as:

  • “I’m not good enough.”
  • “I am such a failure.”
  • “That person is so smart. I could never be like that.”

Negative statements that we tell ourselves can thus evolve into feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, sadness, and anxiety. However, when we do accept ourselves, especially the qualities that we are not always proud of, we have more control over our emotions. In other words, self-acceptance can prevent anxiety and depression. 

Self Acceptance for Happiness and Well-Being
Similar to psychological health, self-acceptance is a key to our happiness and overall well-being. When we have more control over our thought patterns and feelings, we can manage negative self-talk better, too. In fact, higher levels of self-acceptance boost our self-esteem, allow us to be more confident about ourselves, and give us the power to handle criticism better (Szentagatoi & David, 2013). 

Self Acceptance as a Means for Change 
Perhaps you’ve read this far and may have the impression that self-acceptance means staying stagnant or being complacent. This is easy to think about, especially because the philosophy of self-acceptance encourages us to embrace every part of ourselves. However, self-acceptance lets us recognize and wholeheartedly embrace our weaknesses so that we become aware of the things in our lives we do want to change. Personal growth is amplified through a lens of self-acceptance. We cannot improve ourselves without being in touch with who we are. In turn, becoming more self-accepting lets us practice more acts of self-love and self-compassion, which help us transform into our most authentic selves (Boyraz & Kuhl, 2015).

Radical Self-Acceptance

In order to practice authenticity of self, several psychologists and philosophers point to a concept known as radical self-acceptance. Radical self-acceptance is the conscious effort and willingness to experience ourselves, the realities of our lives, and the emotions that come with it as they are (Brach, 2004). Radical self-acceptance stems from Buddhist teachings and encourages a mindful practice of allowing life experiences to come as they are without resisting their outcome or fighting the emotions that may come with those experiences. 

If you’re like me, and this sounds a bit overwhelming, you are not alone. When we deal with tough situations like loss, grief, or tragedy, accepting things as they are may not always be our first instinct. Radical self-acceptance, however, promotes a way of life that defies the urge to repress our feelings, deny life’s experiences, and reject numbing as a coping mechanism. In other words, as we practice self-acceptance through a radical lens, we start to realize that once we accept that negative situations and feelings are a part of life, we can move through life with greater ease. 

How to Practice Self-Acceptance

The theory behind self-acceptance sounds great, but how do we begin to practice this in our daily lives? Let’s take a look at a few techniques you can try. 

  • Remind yourself that you are a work in progress. Have you ever started a new hobby? Perhaps you’ve been wanting to expand your skills in the kitchen and start taking a baking class. You notice your classmates make a delicious batch of chocolate chip cookies, but you accidentally burned yours in the oven. When you make mistakes, negative self-talk may be peeking around the corner, ready to break into your mind. Maybe you tell yourself, “I’m a horrible baker” or “I’m never coming back to class because I’m not good at this.” An alternative to this cognitive response is to tell yourself you are a work in progress. Next time you find yourself in a new situation that you are not automatically good at, try saying, “I will get better at this”, or “It’s okay, this was my first time, and mistakes happen.” Allowing yourself to accept that you messed up this batch of cookies can release the expectation of perfection and enable you to happily try again (Carson & Langer, 2006). 
 
  • Keep a gratitude journal. If you catch yourself thinking about things that went wrong during the day or ruminating on what your negative qualities are, you may want to think about ways to shift your focus to a more positive mindset. One way to accomplish this is by having a journal (or maybe even the notes app on your phone) to write down a few things you are grateful to have in your life every day. When we focus on the positive, we begin to reduce feelings of lacking and negativity, which can boost our ability to accept ourselves more mindfully (Carson & Langer, 2006). 
 
  • View your experiences from a different perspective. Find yourself ruminating on a situation that evokes discomfort or unhappiness? Try looking at the situation from a different perspective, or try to find a silver lining. Maybe you are headed to a party on a hot summer night, and suddenly the sprinklers come on and get your clothes wet. What a frustrating experience, right? What could you do to make it less frustrating? Maybe you laugh at the situation or find the positive (e.g., it was a hot day, and the water did cool me down). Or perhaps you talk to a loved one for their perspective on the matter. Sometimes we can remain stuck in our feelings. When we look at situations with fresh eyes, we can find things we didn’t notice before that may help us accept the experience (Carson & Langer, 2006). 
 
  • Meditate. Meditating allows you to pay attention to what is going on in your life and practice acceptance without judgment. Meditation is much easier to understand when it is practically applied. Check out the video below for a self-acceptance meditation. ​​

Video: Self-Acceptance Meditation

Self-Acceptance Affirmations

Affirmations allow us to concentrate on positive aspects of ourselves and empower us to change negative thought patterns. As you continue on your journey of self-acceptance, here are a handful of affirmations that you may want to read and repeat.

  1. I unconditionally love and accept myself.
  2. I accept the small joys woven through my life.
  3. I am filled with gratitude for who I am.
  4. I love the person I was, the person I am, and the person I will be.
  5. I am proud of all of my accomplishments.
  6. I forgive myself for the mistakes I made when I did not know better.
  7. I know I am doing the best I can. 
  8. I stand firmly in my truth.
  9. I honor where I come from. 
  10. I choose to give myself the service and compassion I give to others.
  11. I am at peace with my imperfections.
  12. I allow myself to feel happy with where I am. 
  13. I am comfortable within my skin.
  14. I am worthy of enjoying my life.
  15. I will stop apologizing for being me.
  16. I have enough, I do enough, and I am enough. 
  17. I honor my body as a sacred temple.
  18. I give and receive love to myself and others freely.
  19. I would rather be real than perfect. 
  20. I do not live in fear of judgment from others.
  21. I release any shame or guilt that I have for myself.
  22. I am worthy of all good things that come my way.
  23. I embrace who I am without critique. 
  24. I let go of any self-doubt or self-hate I once had for myself.
  25. I will treat myself with patience and respect moving forward.
  26. I take this journey of healing one day at a time.
  27. I offer myself grace when I mess up.
  28. I am doing my best and that is enough.
  29. I am proud of all I have overcome.
  30. I choose to love myself more and more every single day.
  31. I live today and every day as myself. 
  32. I release negative self-talk. 
  33. I welcome love and light into my life. ​

Self-Acceptance Quotes

We all go through moments of self-doubt. Here are some uplifting words which may inspire you to accept yourself. 

  • “I decided that the most subversive, revolutionary thing I could do was to show up for my life and not be ashamed.” - Anne Lamott

  • “True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” - Brené Brown 

  • “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” - Buddha 

  • “Accept yourself: flaws, quirks, talents, secret thoughts, all of it, and experience true liberation.” - Amy Leigh Mercree 

  • “To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” - Thich Nhat Hanh ​

Articles Related to Self-Acceptance

​Want to learn more? Check out these articles:

Books Related to Self-Acceptance

If you’d like to keep learning more, here are a few books that you might be interested in.

Final Thoughts on Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is not a practice that we can master in a day, and that is completely okay. The important thing is to familiarize yourself with the concept and slowly find ways to incorporate self-acceptance into your own life to better support your psychological well-being and promote happiness. We hope you found the above theories and tips useful for application. Of course, the list of techniques mentioned is not an exhaustive list, but we do hope that this is a great starting place for you to continue on your path to embracing yourself and enjoying all that life has to offer. ​

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