Expectations: Definition, Theory, & Quotes​

By Kelsey Schultz, Ph.D. Candidate
​Reviewed by Tchiki Davis, M.A., Ph.D.
“What did you expect?” This question is much more complex than may be immediately apparent. Keep reading to learn about the different kinds of expectations and how they influence our daily lives.​
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We might not notice it, but our lives are built on expectations. We’re more aware of some expectations than others. We can have high expectations of ourselves, low expectations of others, or the inverse. We can expect our friend to text us back, expect that we will be selected for the promotion, or expect that party to be a disaster. These are the kind of expectations we can exert some conscious control over. 
In other words, we can recognize and adjust these expectations at will. Other expectations are so deeply embedded in our perception of the world that it’s hard to tell they’re even there. Let’s talk a bit about all of the ways expectations influence our lives.
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What Are Expectations? (A Definition)

Expectations are beliefs or assumptions about what is likely to happen in the future and are based on personal experiences, cultural norms, desires, or explicit agreements about what someone is going to do. Expectations of this sort can be adjusted and used for emotion regulation (Brudner et al., 2018). For example, we can expect a worst-case scenario of some event in the future to help us feel less disappointment, or we can expect an excellent experience to generate feelings of excitement in the present moment.

Expectations can also be thought of as predictions or inferences. These are also based on previous experience but scientists have found that predictions or inferences can influence our perception of reality (Millidge, 2019). In other words, we tend to see what we expect to see. For example, there is a popular visual illusion called the Rabbit-Duck illusion in which you can see either a rabbit or a duck, depending on what you are expecting to see (Grabarczyk, 2014).​
Source: Wikimedia Commons
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You may be familiar with the Anaïs Nin quote “We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.” This notion is much more literally true than perhaps it was intended. We are more likely to perceive what we expect to be there and less likely to accurately perceive what we do not expect. In life, you might mistake a stranger for a dear friend because you are expecting your friend’s arrival or misinterpret facial expressions in a way that aligns with what you expect the other person is thinking or feeling even though you might be completely wrong.

Opposite of Expectations​

The opposite of expectation would be uncertainty. In other words, not knowing what to expect.

Why Do Expectations Matter?

Many of the reasons expectations matter we’ve already touched on. Expectations are a reflection of our understanding of the world. We build our expectations based on our knowledge and experience, and they, in turn, influence our experience. Additionally, expectations play a substantial role in our emotions. That is, it feels good when our expectations are met or exceeded and we feel disappointed or shocked when our expectations are violated.

Expectations Theory

Expectations are most commonly studied scientifically in terms of prediction and inference as mentioned earlier. Specifically, expectations are studied in terms of what’s known as predictive processing and active inference.

Predictive processing, also known as predictive coding or the predictive brain hypothesis, is a theoretical framework in cognitive psychology and neuroscience that attempts to explain how the brain processes information and makes sense of the world (Millidge, 2019).

The predictive processing theory of expectations

The predictive processing theory suggests that the brain is a prediction machine. In other words, it proposes that the brain continuously generates predictions about incoming sensory information and compares those predictions to the actual sensory input it receives. Our brains then update the predictions it makes based on the differences between what it expects and what it actually gets. 

This process of updating predictions in response to sensory input allows the brain to refine its models of the world and improve its predictions over time. For example, consider life for an astronaut on the International Space Station. On earth, we all expect that if we hold something above our heads and then let go, the object will hit us. In space, however, without any gravity to attract the object to the ground, this isn’t the case. So astronauts learn to update their expectations. They learn to expect that their coffee will not want to stay at the bottom of their cups and that it isn’t really possible to set something down. In other words, their brains update the predictions made to align with the realities of their current environment. These predictions have to be updated again when the astronauts return to Earth. For evidence of this and some light entertainment, I suggest you look up “Astronauts Forgetting About Gravity.”

​Active inference & expectations

Active inference is a concept closely related to predictive processing. In short, it’s a theoretical framework in cognitive neuroscience that describes how the brain might operate to minimize prediction errors and maintain its internal models of the world. In other words, it states that the primary purpose of the brain is to minimize the amount of surprise or uncertainty it has to deal with. That is, the brain not only passively perceives the world but is also actively involved in shaping its sensory experiences by generating and updating predictions through experiences.

Examples of Expectations

As mentioned, expectations can take many forms. Here are a few examples of the different types of expectations.
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  • Personal expectations: These are the beliefs an individual has about themselves, their abilities, and how they think they will perform in various situations. For example, someone may have high expectations for their academic performance or career advancement.
  • Social expectations: These are the norms and standards set by society or a particular group. They dictate how people should behave, interact, and fulfill specific roles or responsibilities. Social expectations vary across cultures and can include manners, etiquette, and social norms.
  • Performance expectations: These are the standards set for someone's or something's performance or outcome. For instance, a boss may have certain expectations regarding an employee's productivity or a customer may have expectations about the quality of a product they purchase.
  • Relationship expectations: These are the assumptions and desires people have about their interpersonal relationships, such as friendship, romantic partnerships, or family bonds. They encompass emotional support, communication, trust, and other aspects of a relationship.
  • Organizational expectations: In a professional context, organizations often have expectations for their employees' behavior, conduct, and performance. This can be outlined in company policies, job descriptions, and performance evaluations.

Expectations and Disappointments​

Though expectations can serve us well when they align with reality, they can also be the source of some serious heartache when they don’t. That is, when our expectations are not met, we often feel disappointed and sometimes even heartbroken.

As mentioned earlier, managing expectations is a useful emotion regulation strategy (Brudner et al., 2018). In other words, we can adjust our expectations to avoid disappointment to some extent. However, as you’ve likely experienced, even when adjust our expectations about the outcome of some situation, there might be an ideal outcome we hope will come to fruition, which can still create a sense of disappointment.​

Exceeding Expectations

Having your expectations met is a very satisfying experience, but exceeding those expectations is truly wonderful. In terms of predictive processing and active inference, this is still a discrepancy between what we expect and what we get, but in the best way possible. In this circumstance, the world is even better than anticipated.

Expectations of Privacy

Expectations of privacy are a hot topic in current times. More than ever our biological, social, emotional, and economic information are up for grabs for the highest bidder. There’s a whole industry that is built on exploiting our personal information for monetary gain. For some of us, using our behavior to create algorithms that determine what we see, what we don’t, and what we are sold is just a fact of life. And this isn’t untrue. However, there is still some level of privacy to which we can arguably feel entitled.

These expectations can vary depending on the context, location, and relationships involved. For example, the privacy of public figures is commonly violated without remorse based on the assumption that their fame entitles the world to their private business. The case of Prince Henry and the Duchess of Sussex, Megan Markle, is a prime example of this kind of unremorseful invasion.

Here are some common areas where expectations of privacy are relevant:
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  • Physical space: Individuals generally expect privacy within their homes, hotel rooms, private offices, and other enclosed spaces where they have a reasonable expectation of being free from surveillance or intrusion.
  • Communications: People expect their phone calls, text messages, emails, and other forms of electronic communication to remain private and not be intercepted or accessed by unauthorized parties.
  • Internet and online activities: Users expect that their online activities, browsing history, and personal information are protected from indiscriminate monitoring and data collection by companies and governments.
  • Personal data and information: Individuals have expectations that their personal information, such as financial records, health data, and social security numbers, will be kept confidential and only used for legitimate purposes.
  • Social interactions: People generally expect their conversations and interactions with others to be private, especially in closed or intimate settings.
  • Personal belongings: Individuals expect their personal belongings, such as luggage, bags, and personal devices, to be secure and not subject to unreasonable searches or seizures.
  • Workplace privacy: Employees often have expectations of privacy in the workplace, regarding personal belongings, communications, and certain activities.

Quotes on Expectations

  • “If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed.” ― Sylvia Plath
  • “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ― Bruce Lee
  • “Expectations were like fine pottery. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to crack.”― Brandon Sanderson
  • “We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, 'Blessed are they that mourn,' and I accept it. I've got nothing that I hadn't bargained for. Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not imagination.” ― C.S. Lewis
  • “When someone sees the same people every day, as had happened with him at the seminary, they wind up becoming a part of that person's life. And then they want the person to change. If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” ― Paulo Coelho
  • “To wish was to hope, and to hope was to expect” ― Jane Austen
  • “Positive expectations are the mark of the superior personality.” ― Brian Tracy
  • “He was swimming in a sea of other people’s expectations. Men had drowned in seas like that.” ― Robert Jordan
  • “I have often noticed that we are inclined to endow our friends with the stability of type that literary characters acquire in the reader's mind. [...] Whatever evolution this or that popular character has gone through between the book covers, his fate is fixed in our minds, and, similarly, we expect our friends to follow this or that logical and conventional pattern we have fixed for them. Thus X will never compose the immortal music that would clash with the second-rate symphonies he has accustomed us to. Y will never commit murder. Under no circumstances can Z ever betray us. We have it all arranged in our minds, and the less often we see a particular person, the more satisfying it is to check how obediently he conforms to our notion of him every time we hear of him. Any deviation in the fates we have ordained would strike us as not only anomalous but unethical. We could prefer not to have known at all our neighbor, the retired hot-dog stand operator, if it turns out he has just produced the greatest book of poetry his age has seen.” ― Vladimir Nabokov
  • “You are your own worst enemy. If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you.” ― Lisa Kleypas
  • “There were two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations” ― Jodi Picoult

Articles Related to Expectations

​Want to learn more? Check out these articles:

Books Related to Expectations

If you’d like to keep learning more, here are a few books that you might be interested in.

Final Thoughts on Expectations​

There are different kinds of expectations. Some of which we are aware of and can manage and others that form the foundation of our perception of the world which is less obvious. For more information on expectations, check out this video:

Video: The Power of Expectations​

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