Entitlement: Definition, Personality, & Psychology​

By Beth Birenbaum, MPH
Let’s learn about the psychology behind an entitlement personality trait and how it can affect our lives and well-being.​
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Ugh, why do they act so entitled?! We’ve all heard or said this before. And we all have an idea of what it means to act entitled. (No, sorry, you can’t return that sweater after you’ve worn it 16 times and it’s stained.)

But feeling entitled isn’t always bad. Sometimes maybe you are entitled. Perhaps you worked really hard on something but someone else took the credit. 
Or maybe you feel entitled to have the same chances of getting into a university as a “legacy” student. These feelings seem entirely valid.

But today we’re going to look at entitlement as a personality trait from a psychological perspective. This is when it’s part of who you are—it’s not situational. We’ll start by defining entitlement more precisely, then we’ll describe some psychological theories about it. We’ll also explore how it shows up in our culture and affects our relationships. 
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What Is Entitlement? (A Definition)​

In psychology, entitlement refers to “a personality trait characterized by pervasive feelings of deservingness, specialness, and exaggerated expectations” (Grubbs & Exline, 2016). An entitled person believes they deserve special treatment, certain privileges, or additional resources (Lange et al., 2019). They typically believe that rules don’t apply to them. They think they deserve success, happiness, and respect without having to work for it and are often unwilling to acknowledge or appreciate the contributions of others.

Entitlement is considered maladaptive because of the negative consequences it can have, both for the person who has this personality trait and for the people around them.

Opposite of Entitlement​

The opposite of entitlement is humility and gratitude. It’s a recognition of your limitations and a willingness to learn from others. It’s also associated with qualities such as modesty, gentleness, and compassion. Entitlement is essentially ingratitude. While entitlement shows up in attitudes like “I'm owed that,” gratitude says, “The world doesn't owe me anything.” 

Causes of Entitlement

  • Childhood trauma or abuse: People who have experienced trauma or abuse in childhood may develop a sense of entitlement as a way to cope with their emotional pain. They may believe that they deserve special treatment because they have suffered so much. 
  • Parenting styles: Children who are raised by overprotective or permissive parents may be more likely to develop a sense of entitlement. This is because these parenting styles may lead children to believe that they are special and deserving of special treatment, even when they have not earned it. Further, a narcissistic parent may treat their child as an extension of themselves. This "special" role can become a learned attitude as well as a defense against the hurt, shame, and fear resulting from this experience (Bishop & Lane, 2002).
  • Mental health issues: Some mental health disorders, such as narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder, are characterized by a sense of entitlement. People with these disorders often have an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy for others (Moeller et al., 2009).
  • Cultural influences: Some cultures may place a higher value on individualism and achievement than others. This can lead to a sense of entitlement in people who are raised in these cultures.
  • Socioeconomic status: Studies show that people who experienced higher socioeconomic status from childhood on are more prone to feelings of entitlement. However, people who came from a lower socioeconomic background in childhood but became “upwardly mobile” express gratitude for assistance they may have received (Côté et al., 2021).

Examples of Entitlement

Here are some typical examples of entitled behavior we see in everyday life:
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  • Someone who cuts in line believing their time is more important than that of others.
  • A student who believes they deserve to get an A on a test even though they didn't study.
  • A customer who believes they deserve a refund for a product they bought even though they used it and it’s not defective.
  • A person who believes they deserve to be promoted at work even though they are not qualified for the position.
  • A politician who believes they deserve to be reelected even though they have not done a good job in office.
  • A customer who demands to be seated immediately at a crowded restaurant, insists on a specific table, and expresses frustration if there's any delay.
  • Someone who speaks loudly on a phone in a quiet or public space without regard for others.
  • A person who seeks excessive praise for routine tasks, expecting recognition for actions that are part of normal responsibilities.

Video: Entitlement Mentality

Entitlement and Narcissism​

While related, entitlement is not the same as narcissism. Entitlement is usually viewed as a component or sign of narcissism (Campbell et al., 2004). Narcissistic people may feel entitled to special treatment and may have a distorted view of their own importance. Entitlement can be a broader concept that encompasses various attitudes and behaviors (Lange et al., 2019). Not everyone with an entitlement mentality exhibits narcissistic traits, and vice versa.

Entitlement Personality

The term "entitlement personality" refers to a set of traits and behaviors associated with the psychological definition of entitlement. An entitlement personality is often linked to narcissistic tendencies and can show up in many ways. Here are some key characteristics associated with an entitlement personality (Campbell et al., 2004):
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  • Unrealistic expectations: People with an entitlement personality may have unrealistic expectations about what they deserve in things like relationships, work, or social interactions. 
  • Lack of empathy: Entitled people often have difficulty understanding or caring about the needs and feelings of others. They may believe that their own needs are more important than the needs of others. They may also show less empathy and respect for romantic partners and engage in more game playing and interpersonal aggression. 
  • Difficulty accepting criticism: People with an entitlement personality may struggle to accept criticism or feedback, as they believe they are above reproach or free of faults.
  • Exploitative behavior: Some people with an entitlement personality may engage in exploitative behavior, taking advantage of others to meet their own needs or desires. 
  • Grandiosity and superiority: Entitled people often see themselves as being better than other people. They may believe that they are smarter, more talented, or more important than others.
  • Impatience: An entitlement personality may be associated with impatience, as individuals may become frustrated when they don't get what they believe they deserve immediately.
  • Manipulative tactics: Some people with an entitlement personality may use manipulation to achieve their goals, disregarding the impact on others.
  • Difficulty with authority: Individuals with an entitlement personality may resist authority figures or rules that they feel limit their perceived entitlements. 
  • Lack of accountability: People with an entitlement attitude may resist taking responsibility for their actions and failures. Instead, they might blame other people or external factors for their shortcomings.

It's important to note that an entitlement personality exists on a spectrum, and not everyone who exhibits some of these traits necessarily has a personality disorder. However, when these traits are pervasive and significantly impact one's ability to function in various areas of life, it may be indicative of a more serious issue.​

Psychology of Entitlement

An entitlement mentality can have several negative consequences for both the individual and the people around them. People with an entitlement mentality are more likely to experience conflict in their relationships, both at work and at home. They are also more likely to experience depression and anxiety, as they may often feel disappointment and frustration when they don't get what they want or their expectations aren’t met. 

When disappointed and frustrated, they can feel it as a threat to their ego, causing them to attempt to bolster and reinforce these superiority beliefs, which in turn can result in further disappointment and frustration. So we get this reinforcing cycle (Grubbs & Exline, 2016).

Entitlement Schema

A schema is an outlook or assumption that someone has of themselves, others, or the world that endures despite objective reality (APA, 2023). So "entitlement schema" refers to a cognitive framework or set of beliefs that someone holds about their deservingness of certain privileges, benefits, or special treatment. It’s part of their self-concept. Someone with an entitlement schema has beliefs such as “I deserve more than others” or “I am superior to other people” (Tolmacz & Mikulincer, 2011).

Entitlement Theory

Psychological entitlement is a complex phenomenon with multiple theories about its development and consequences. Some of the most common theories include:
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  • Freudian perspective: Freudian theories explore entitlement through the lens of personality development. Specifically, these theories posit that entitled personality traits come from being emotionally deprived in childhood, especially if the child was used as a narcissistic extension by parents. Freud proposed that entitlement was a defense mechanism that people used to protect themselves from the pain of feeling unloved or unworthy. By believing that they deserved special treatment, people with entitlement issues could avoid feeling like victims (Bishop & Lane, 2002).
  • Social learning theory: This theory suggests that entitlement is learned through observation and imitation. Children who see their parents or other caregivers behaving entitled are more likely to develop this trait themselves. In addition, when a parent has an inflated view of their children, the children also adopt this view of themselves (Brummelman et al., 2015).
  • Cognitive distortion theory: This theory suggests that people with entitlement issues have distorted thinking patterns that lead them to believe they deserve more than others, even when there is no evidence to support this belief (Lange et al., 2019).
  • Narcissistic personality disorder: Entitlement is a key feature of narcissistic personality disorder, which is a mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
  • Attachment theory: This theory suggests that entitlement may develop in people who had insecure attachments to their caregivers as children. Insecure attachments can lead to a lack of trust in others and a belief that one must be self-sufficient to survive.
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In addition to these theories, there is also a growing body of research on the neurobiological underpinnings of entitlement. For example, some studies have shown that people with entitlement issues have reduced activity in brain regions associated with empathy and moral judgment (Nenadić et al., 2021).

Entitlement Culture

Entitlement culture is when an entitlement mentality seems to be pervasive. It can show up not only in the majority of people, but also in song lyrics, on TV, and on social media. Some researchers believe that narcissism is spreading in our culture at an ever higher rate. And since entitlement is a component of narcissism, it would be included in this increase (Campbell & Twenge, 2013).

Although people with an entitled attitude have always existed, there is evidence that suggests Western culture may be becoming more entitled. This seems to be especially true of younger generations. A 2008 study found that people in their 20s were three times as likely to experience narcissistic personality disorder as people in their 60s (Campbell & Twenge, 2013). This reminds me of the many articles out there about how millennials embody a culture of entitlement. (Full disclosure: I’m a Gen Xer, so I’m in the clear here. But don’t older generations always say that about younger ones?)

There may be some changes in culture overall that are contributing to this shift. For example, there is a growing emphasis on individualism and self-reliance. This can lead to people feeling like they are entitled to success, even if they have not worked hard for it. Also, shifts in parenting styles, educational approaches, and cultural values can influence perceptions of entitlement. For example, a focus on self-esteem may be interpreted by some as fostering entitlement. (We didn’t get participation trophies when I was a kid.)

Additionally, the rise of social media has created a culture where people are constantly comparing themselves to others. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment, which can fuel entitlement. The digital age has also brought about instant access to information, communication, and services. Some believe this contributes to a mindset of instant gratification, where we expect quick results and immediate rewards.​

Entitlement in Relationships

Unsurprisingly, people with an entitlement mentality often struggle in relationships. Entitlement issues tend to show even more in romantic relationships due to their high level of intimacy and commitment—and thus expectations. In fact, studies show that having an entitlement personality trait plays an important role in determining the quality of couples’ relationships. It can play a role in breakups, abuse, and even violence (Tolmacz & Mikulincer, 2011).

Problems in romantic relationships often show up as the belief that you deserve more from your partner than you’re giving. Here are some other negative consequences that entitlement can have on relationships:
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  • Emotional reactivity and instability: People with a sense of entitlement often have unrealistic expectations of their partner. When these expectations aren’t met, they can react with anger or frustration and may lash out.
  • Lack of appreciation: People who feel entitled tend to take their partner for granted.
  • Resentment: People with an entitlement mindset may feel resentful when their partner doesn’t do what they want, even if there is a good reason. Their partner may also come to feel resentful due to the one-sided nature of the relationship.
  • Unwillingness to compromise: People who feel entitled may struggle to navigate conflicts in a healthy way, as they may resist compromising or acknowledging their own faults.
  • Communication issues: Entitlement can contribute to poor communication, as the entitled person may not feel the need to listen or consider their partner's perspective.
  • Self-centeredness: Entitled people prioritize their own needs and desires over those of their partner, leading to a lack of empathy and understanding.

Quotes on Entitlement

  • “I feel very badly when mediocrity throws a tantrum of entitlement.” — Lee Siegel
  • “Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.” — Daniel Patrick Moynihan
  • “Entitlement is simply the belief that you deserve something. Which is great. The hard part is, you’d better make sure you deserve it.” — Mindy Kaling
  • “The predator wants your silence. It feeds their power, entitlement, and they want it to feed your shame.” — Viola Davis
  • “What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.” — Brene Brown

Articles Related to Entitlement

​Want to learn more? Check out these articles:

Books Related to Entitlement

If you’d like to keep learning more, here are a few books that you might be interested in.

Final Thoughts on Entitlement​

We all experience some feelings of entitlement, and sometimes these feelings are warranted. However, when entitlement becomes an overarching personality trait, it can have detrimental effects on our mental health, well-being, career, and relationships. 

It is important to remember that entitlement is a learned behavior. It can be caused by a variety of factors, such as parenting styles, peer pressure, and societal expectations. Once we understand the root causes of our entitlement, we can start to work on changing our behavior. And who knows? Curbing our sense of entitlement may even contribute to a more balanced and compassionate society where we have a sense of shared responsibility and respect for others.

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