How to Be Kind: Examples, Tips, & List

By Sukhman Rekhi, M.A.
​Reviewed by Eser Yilmaz, M.S., Ph.D.
What does it mean to be kind? Discover the importance of kindness and learn new ways to show your kindness today.
*This page may include affiliate links; that means we earn from qualifying purchases of products.
A little story to set the mood: When I was in high school, I remember having a bad day because someone said something that wasn’t exactly nice that really hurt my feelings. If you’ve met me, I enjoy talking (sometimes a bit too much) and was often outgoing in a classroom setting. But after the incident, I was sitting in my calculus class pretty silently. After the lesson, my calculus teacher pulled me aside, asked what was wrong, and then gave me a piece of advice that I’ve never forgotten.
He told me that when we’re feeling down in life and think we have nothing to give, try to be kind because it’s the only thing that doubles when we share it. That day, his kindness made me feel better, and maybe it felt good to him, too. I guess he was right—kindness does double when we share it. But what exactly is the science behind kindness, and how do we practice being kind? Let’s learn more below. 
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What Does It Mean To Be Kind? (A Definition)

The act of being kind is often used as a synonym for being nice. While niceness implies a level of pleasurable or agreeable behavior toward someone else, kindness takes niceness a step further. Kindness can be defined as a genuine and sincere way of giving your time and intention to someone else through compassion, time, generosity, and care for the betterment of helping others (Binet & Passmore, 2019). Kindness can be shown in a variety of ways. Some ideas may include offering emotional support, giving time to someone or a cause, showing respect, encouraging another person, providing resources, or something as simple as just being there when someone needs you.

Benefits of Being Kind

Remember when my calculus teacher said that kindness doubles when we share it? Turns out, there is scientific truth to that. Research suggests that showing kindness not only makes the person we are being kind to feel good but helps our own well-being too. Below is a list of just a few benefits of kindness.

  • Increases Happiness. Kindness has been shown to increase subjective well-being and improve mood. The more kind we are, the more we tend to feel positive emotions (Otake et al., 2006).
  • Boosts social relationships. People that show kindness are more likely to develop genuine connections with others and feel content with their social networks (Otake et al., 2006).
  • Promotes oxytocin. Oxytocin, commonly referred to as the love hormone, is a hormone that can support positive self-esteem. It helps us feel more joy and can also improve heart health by reducing stress (Verona, Murphy, & Breslin, 2018).
  • Reduce depressive moods. Being kind to others can help you feel more self-confident and energetic, which can elevate your mood and help minimize feelings of depression (Carter, 2011). 
  • Produces the “Helper’s High.” We’ve heard the term running high, but have you heard of a helper’s high? Researchers have shown that when we do good deeds for others, our brain’s pleasure and reward centers fire up. Being kind can create a rush of positive energy and uplift us, which is a phenomenon called “helper’s high” (Dossey, 2021).

Video: The Science of Being Kind

Interested in learning more about the science of kindness? Check out this great video from the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation.

How to Be Kind

We now know that being kind is good for the people we show kindness to and has emotional and physical health benefits for ourselves. But how do we actually practice it? Let’s uncover a few ways we can be kind. 

Being Kind to One Another
While it may seem easier to be kind to the people we know, we also carry the ability to show kindness to someone new. We never know what others are dealing with and our generosity, support, or small act of kindness may go a long way. 

Kindness doesn’t always have to include dramatic gestures of care. Simply being polite, using a warm tone, giving a smile, or showing patience or gratitude to a stranger can be enough. 

Picture yourself at the grocery store at 5:30 pm on a Friday. You’re ready to get home, change into comfortable clothes, have a bite to eat, and can’t wait to sit in front of the TV for movie night. Your grocery list is small, maybe just milk and eggs. But it seems like the entire population of New York City is in the same store as you and you begin to grow impatient with the long lines. Of course, this is a frustrating scenario, especially when you’re exhausted from a long week of work. While it can be easy to give in to our annoyance or discomfort with the situation, being patient, smiling at another waiting customer, or being understanding of the cashier when they apologize for the long lines can mean more to them than you think. 

Being Kind to Loved Ones
Giving our time, support, and resources to others may feel much easier or natural when we are being kind to the people we already love. But sometimes, we can also take these relationships for granted because these people are always present in our lives, and we assume they should know how much we love them. If you’re looking to show some extra kindness, compassion, and love to the people in your life who matter the most to you, here are some tips (or healthy reminders). 

For example, maybe your aging parents are feeling lonely, and you’re wondering what you can do to be of more support. Being kind can look like calling them more often, making some food they might enjoy and taking it over (or even sending them the recipe if they live far), or taking them out on a day trip with other family members or friends to remind them how important and loved they are. Showing you care and being intentional about building connections with them can be a wonderful way to express your kindness. 

In another situation, let’s say you have a great friend who is dealing with some trouble at work, feeling overwhelmed with her home life, and hasn’t found the time to take care of herself. Maybe it can be something as simple as checking in on how her day is going, sending a warm message wishing her a good week, or being there to listen if she needs to vent out any frustrations or problems. Other examples of being kind in a situation like this may include taking her kids out for ice cream if you know she can use some alone time or asking to help her on a project. Maybe you’re reading this and feeling overwhelmed because you are already feeling overburdened with your own life to act kind towards someone else. The important thing to remember is that no act of kindness is too small and anything you can give that can support someone else can go far.

Being Kind to Yourself
And lastly, but certainly not the least, while we’re being kind to others, let’s not forget to show some kindness to ourselves. Here are just a few ways to instill more self-kindness.

  • Allot some self-care time to do something you’ve been wanting to do. Whether it’s taking yourself out to get dinner or having a relaxing bath with floral scented candles on, schedule in time to show yourself some appreciation.
 
  • Be intentional with how you speak about yourself and to yourself. More often than not, we are our biggest critics. If you catch yourself looking in the mirror and disliking what you see or being too hard on yourself for minor mistakes, try challenging that thinking. List out a few things you enjoy about yourself and gently forgive yourself when you do mess up—it’s okay, we all mess up. 
 
  • Act as though you are a friend who needs you. It’s so easy for us to be kind and supportive to the people we care about, but we often forget we need to show up for ourselves too. If a friend was dealing with a stressful situation or was feeling down, how would you respond to them? Now flip the script. What if you were in their shoes? Try doing for yourself what you would do for them. Whether it’s giving self-affirmations to validate your good qualities or buying yourself a thoughtful gift, be a friend to your inner self, too. 

List of Ways to Be Kind

Below you will find a non-exhaustive list of just a few ways you can offer your kindness to someone in need. Whether it’s your partner, a parent, or a stranger walking on the street, there is always something you can do to show your kindness. 
  • Give a warm smile to a stranger.
  • Hold the door open for the folks walking in behind you. 
  • Be there to listen to someone who could use a friend right now.
  • Genuinely compliment someone. 
  • Pick up trash (even if it’s not always yours).
  • Put out water bowls for roaming animals on a hot summer day.
  • Let someone in when they’re trying to switch into your lane.
  • Offer up your seat to someone who may need it on the subway or bus.
  • Buy some food for the person asking for money outside of the store.
  • Pick up something someone dropped and is having trouble reaching for it.
  • Put some change in an expiring meter as you walk by.
  • Say thank you more often.
  • Write someone a card telling them what you appreciate about them.
  • Tip service workers. 
  • Donate books to the neighborhood library.
  • Water the flowers and take care of plants.
  • When someone is talking about their passions, listen intently. 
  • Ask someone how they’re doing and mean it.
  • Say hello and/or welcome the new neighbors. 
  • Found a lost item? Take it to the lost and found or post it on a community page.
  • Write warm messages on sticky notes and leave them in places others can find them (e.g., in your child’s lunchbox, on top of a mailbox, or inside of a book).
  • Volunteer your time to an important cause.
  • Make a donation.
  • Send a loving text message randomly to your family and friends.
  • See someone sitting alone? Invite them to sit next to you.
  • Help clean up without being asked. 
  • Ask a friend hosting a party if you can bring food or help set up. 
  • Give yourself a mental break when you’re feeling angry or sad.
  • Think before you speak and when you do, speak with intention.
  • Drop off flowers, get some food, or make a warm drink for someone who is recovering from an illness.
  • Offer empathy to someone who may need it (e.g., showing up when they need support, being there to listen, giving them a hug or shoulder to cry on).
  • Spend time with the people you care about.
  • Respect how someone else is feeling even if you wouldn’t react that way.
  • Be just a little bit more patient. 
  • Help with a household chore. 
  • Share a yummy recipe with someone who may love it.
  • Check in on your loved ones.
  • Say I love you more often. ​

Quotes on Being Kind

Here are a few quotes that may inspire you to be kind.
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  • “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” - Dalai Lama
  • “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” - Leo Buscaglia 
  • “If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.” - Dolly Parton
  • “A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” - Amelia Earhart
  • “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou
  • “No act of kindness is too small. The gift of kindness may start as a small ripple that over time can turn into a tidal wave affecting the lives of many.” - Kevin Heath
  • “Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.” - Bob Kerrey 
  • “If the world seems cold to you, kindle fires to warm it.” - Lucy Larson

Articles Related to Being Kind​

​Want to learn more? Check out these articles:

Books on How to Be Kind

If you’d like to keep learning more, here are a few books that you might be interested in.


And a few more for the little ones in your life (because it’s never too early to share the importance of kindness with them): 

Be Kind T-Shirts

If you want to promote kindness in your community, check out these "be kind" t-shirts:

Final Thoughts on Being Kind

Let’s recap: kindness expands the more we share it, being kind to someone else can improve our own psychological and physical health, and no act of kindness is too small to show others or to ourselves. Being kind is a simple act that we may often overlook, but can be so essential to improving our lives and the lives of those around us. Whether you practice some of our tips for being kind or do other acts of kindness, we hope this article served as a reminder that just a little bit of care and compassion can make a big difference.

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