Self-Management: Definition, Skills & Strategies

By Sukhman Rekhi, M.A.
​Reviewed by Eser Yilmaz, M.S., Ph.D.
Have you ever felt your emotions or thoughts taking over you? Read on to learn self-management skills and strategies to better control yourself.
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Do you find yourself getting easily overwhelmed by your inexhaustible to-do list? Have you been in a situation where your frustration led you to tears? Has there been a time when you wanted to start eating a better diet but struggled to follow the plan? If this sounds like you, don’t worry—we’ve all been there. Sometimes our thoughts and emotions can overpower our self-control and lead to what we wouldn’t consider to be our proudest moments. 
But that’s why we’re here to help you understand the importance of self-management and how to become more mindful and productive.
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What Is Self-Management? (A Definition)

In simple terms, self-management is our capability to better manage our thoughts, regulate our emotions, and hold ourselves accountable for our behaviors. Psychologists may also refer to this concept as “self-regulation” (Lorig & Holman, 2003). Sounds simple enough, right? But this is one of the many times when things are easier said than done. If the concept of being in control of yourself at all times sounds overwhelming to you, don’t fret. Self-management is a practice that takes time to develop, so let’s go slow and start with the basics. 

Self-Management Settings and Examples

While self-management is clearly helpful in school or work environments, it can be equally essential in our personal lives. The practice of self-management includes being able to assess your priorities, manage your time, hold yourself accountable, follow through with the task at hand, and most importantly, maintain your well-being (Hackman, 1986). Many of us may struggle with procrastination from time to time, especially when it comes to school assignments or mundane tasks at work. But we may also deal with procrastination in our home life. 

Self-Management Example
For example, after I finish cooking, I sometimes want to sit on my couch and watch the current show I’m binging, and three hours later my dishes are still undone. I realize it’s late at night, I no longer have the energy (or desire) to clean said dishes, and then wake up to a dirty kitchen, which then stresses me out for the new day. Instead of doing my morning routine and getting ready for the day, I waste time cleaning the kitchen, which stresses me out further. Now that I’m already behind, I lose focus and, worst of all, start feeling anxious and overwhelmed. See how this cycle of my poor self-management could get me into this situation?  

Without healthy self-management, we may find it difficult to complete simple tasks (or big projects), achieve our goals, gain personal growth, and prioritize our emotional wellness. 

Let’s delve a little deeper as to why self-management is important.

Why Self Management Is Important

Self-management can sound like a lot of work, but once we slowly begin practicing it, we can better understand how it can improve our lives. Here are some reasons why self-management is crucial (Jackson & Wilton, 2017). 

Benefits of Self-Management
  • Accomplish Goals. Self-management encourages us to focus on our priorities and tasks more mindfully. Of course, we shouldn’t constantly be working, as that can be detrimental to our health. However, having a balanced routine of productivity and rest lets us achieve our life goals. 
 
  • Reduce Impulsive Decisions. When we delay gratification (e.g., watching our favorite TV shows before completing chores), we set ourselves up for more success by being more mindful of our choices and focusing on long-term goals rather than short-term cravings.
 
  • Balance Emotional Well-Being. Practicing self-management allows us to feel a sense of personal responsibility which can improve self-efficacy in achieving our goals. When this happens, we gain self-confidence to be who we are and do what we want to do. 
 
  • Minimize Stress and Become Mindful. In our world of multitasking, it can be challenging to focus on one thing at a time without our emotions becoming overwhelmed or our thoughts racing. Self-management can help us become more aware and intentional of our time, manage that time better, and thus reduce the stress of tasks not being completed.
 
  • Enrich Health and Personal Relationships. Ever felt so stressed out that you’ve unfortunately snapped at someone or broken down crying? Or, maybe you’ve acted out in another way you’re not proud of. A lack of self-management doesn’t only cause stress, but it can also inhibit our ability to regulate our emotions. Practicing healthy self-management, however, may support us in being more in tune with our feelings, which can help us understand how to process those emotions better too. When we have a handle on our emotions, we are less likely to be caught up in anger, irritability, and sadness. We can also enhance our relationship with our own bodies, as well as with our loved ones. 

Video: Strength for Self-Management and Self-Control

Here is a helpful research-based visual demonstration of self-management.

Self-Management Skills and Strategies

You may be thinking, “Well, those reasons all sound great, but how am I supposed to go about practicing self-management in the first place?” Let me cut to the chase and list out some self-management skills you may want to consider improving on if you haven’t already done so (Lorig & Holman, 2003; Grady & Gough, 2014).

Tips for Self-Management
  • Organization. Is your workspace messy? Do you find yourself having random sticky notes all over your home? When you’re at school, do you struggle to find a pen or pencil instantly? Organizing might sound like a tedious process, but being organized can support your efficiency and productivity. It can also help you feel less stressed the next time you have a meeting you’re in a rush for and need to find the keys to your car. 
 
  • Self-Motivation. As much as we want to be constantly motivated to do whatever we’re working toward, motivation usually ebbs and flows. This is why balancing work and rest is necessary. Self-motivation encourages us not only to take the initiative to work but feel driven to accomplish tasks, too. Next time you’re feeling a bit unmotivated, you may want to reflect and find something that motivates you. Whether it’s the satisfaction of a job well done, being able to watch your favorite show after dinner, or treating yourself to a fun day at the beach, showing yourself appreciation for your hard work can help you feel motivated to continue reaching your goals.
 
  • Managing Time. Without understanding time management, it can be rather tricky to practice self-management. Some examples of time management may include creating a calendar that lists out all of your important events and meetings, having a weekly plan that you regularly update with your to-do list, or even just working on one thing at a time so that you can focus your energy on the task or event at hand without feeling overwhelmed. I often struggle with multitasking, so much so that it can make me feel anxious and irritable very quickly. One thing that has also helped me manage my time better is being more mindful of what I am doing at the moment rather than giving my energy to multiple avenues at once. This may sound silly, but in the mornings, when I’m washing my face, the only thing I let my mind think about is washing my face. For example, what soap am I using? How does it smell? How does my skin feel? A simple practice like this has helped me live in the moment and be more mindful in every task I do rather than letting mindlessness take over (although, from time to time, it still does.)
 
  • Self-Care. If the goals of self-management are to better manage our thoughts, emotions, and actions so that we can thrive in our personal and professional lives, we cannot do this without taking the time to manage our stress, show ourselves appreciation, and incorporate rest and play into our hectic days. For example, have you ever found yourself working more than 40 hours a week while juggling family life and social obligations? More often than not, you may notice that your brain feels jumbled, and you’re having a hard time getting anything done. Self-care is an essential way to combat feeling overworked and stressed. Whether it’s setting boundaries at work by not taking your tasks home with you, getting in 30 minutes of exercise a few times a week, or eating some delicious food while spending time with your loved ones, any form of self-care can enable us to have a more balanced and fulfilling lifestyle.
 
  • Regulating Emotions. A healthy practice of self-management is to learn to be in tune with your emotions. For example, do you get anxious before a presentation at school? Do you have a supervisor who drives you just a little bit angry? Is there something at home or work that makes you feel a bit sad? While it may feel like a waste of time to process emotions and take time for ourselves when we feel down or upset, it’s crucial to understand how our emotions affect us before they manifest into something bigger. If you’re nervous about a presentation, consider asking a family member or classmate to help you practice. Feeling annoyed by something at work? Try having a conversation with your work team or journaling about it. Is something else making you feel down in the dumps? You may want to try focusing on your strengths to boost your self-esteem or perhaps chat with a friend to feel emotionally supported. Once we understand what some of our underlying emotions are, we can manage them better and thus refocus our time and energy back into what is important. ​

Self-Management Ted Talk by Jonathan Bricker

Self-management can be used in a variety of ways and for different priorities. This video provides a perspective on how to practice self-management and control for healthy behavior change. ​

Self-Management Quotes

  • “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” - Aristotle

  • “Self-management, therefore, is all about becoming your own leader by training your mental, physical, social and intellectual faculties in different ways.”- Prem Jagyasi

  • “Strength is about how you show up. It requires you to choose what energy and action you want to bring to a given situation. At its heart, strength is about self-management. It’s not about controlling your emotions—it’s about honoring them and choosing what you do next.” - Darcy Luoma

  • “Mastering others is strength; mastering oneself is true power” – Lao Tsu

  • “Self-regulation will always be a challenge, but if somebody’s going to be in charge, it might as well be me.” - Daniel Akst

  • “You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength.” - Marcus Aurelius

Articles Related to Self-Management

​Want to learn more about self-management? Check out these articles:

Books Related to Self-Management

If you’d like to keep learning more about self-management, here are a few books that you might be interested in.

Final Thoughts on Self-Management

Mastering self-management is no easy feat. However, it is possible. In this article, we discussed what self-management is, its importance, and some skills and strategies to help you improve your ability to manage and regulate your actions, thoughts, and emotions. A gentle reminder that these skills cannot be grasped in one day, so it’s important to be patient with and kind to yourself as you refine the way you manage your priorities and well-being. We hope you found these tips to be helpful as you continue to add to your well-being toolkit.

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