Mentoring: Definition, Examples, & Best Practices​

By Beth Birenbaum, MPH
​Reviewed by Tchiki Davis, M.A., Ph.D.

Let’s explore how a good mentoring relationship can benefit you both professionally and personally.​

*This page may include affiliate links; that means we earn from qualifying purchases of products.

Mentoring is a powerful practice that can be invaluable for academic, professional, and personal development. But not all mentoring relationships work, and in those situations where it’s not working, it can be frustrating or feel like it’s not worth it. So what does it take to create a good mentoring relationship? And how do you know if it’s working as it should?​

In this article, we’ll explore the concept of mentoring, talk about its benefits, and describe the characteristics of successful mentorships. We’ll also describe common challenges that arise in mentoring relationships and explore best practices and strategies that can help overcome them.

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What Is Mentoring? (A Definition)​

Mentoring has been described in many different ways. But most agree that mentoring is a collaborative relationship between a more experienced individual (the mentor) and a less experienced individual (the mentee) that is focused on the mentee's personal and professional development. The mentor provides guidance, support, and knowledge to the mentee. They share their expertise, experiences, and insights to help the mentee grow, learn, and achieve their goals (Dahlberg & Byars-Winston, 2019; Kammeyer-Mueller & Judge, 2008). There are three main types of mentoring: professional (in the workplace), academic, and youth.

Mentoring Relationships​

A mentor relationship goes beyond teaching or coaching. As described above, it should help the mentee develop professionally and personally. There’s also often a personal bond. 

The relationship is characterized by two main functions: psychosocial support and career support. Psychosocial support may include counseling the mentee about anxieties and uncertainty, providing friendship and acceptance, and role modeling. Career support includes career guidance, skill development, and publicly acknowledging the mentee’s achievements (Dahlberg & Byars-Winston, 2019). 

In recent years, mentorship has evolved from being a one-way relationship where the mentor directs the nature of the relationship to a more reciprocal and collaborative relationship in which both parties benefit (Dahlberg & Byars-Winston, 2019).

Mentoring vs. Coaching

Mentoring and coaching are both forms of support, and the two can overlap in some ways. But there are some differences: 

Specific vs. broad: Coaching focuses on specific skills or goals. By contrast, mentoring has the broader focus of guiding personal or professional development. Maybe that’s part of the charm of Ted Lasso—he became as much a mentor as he did a coach to his players. His concern about them as a people was more important than their playing skills or ability to win games.

Length of relationship: Another difference is that coaching tends to be short-term, ending once a goal or outcome is achieved. However, mentoring is typically long-term and development driven, extending well beyond the attainment of any specific goal.

Approach: Coaches are trained in techniques to teach others specific skills. Mentors offer expertise, share their experiences, and provide support. The goal is for the mentee to develop so they can make well-informed decisions and create their own path.    

Directive vs. collaborative: With coaching, the coach sets up the agenda and goals. With mentoring, the mentee may steer the direction of activities depending on what they want to get out of the relationship or what their goals are.

Video: Coaching vs Mentoring

Benefits of Mentoring

Mentoring can (and should!) have benefits for both the mentee and the mentor.

​For the Mentee
​

• Knowledge and skill development: Mentoring provides an opportunity for the mentee to acquire new knowledge, skills, and insights from someone with more experience.
• Support: Mentoring relationships go beyond professional guidance and extend to emotional support and psychological support. Mentors provide encouragement and motivation during challenging times. Having a trusted mentor to turn to can alleviate stress, foster resilience, and contribute to self-confidence.
• Guidance and advice: Mentors can offer guidance, share their expertise, and provide valuable feedback, which can accelerate the mentee's learning and development. Mentors also help mentees to identify and accomplish personal goals. 
• Academic success: Studies show that mentoring improves academic performance, lowers dropout rates, and results in better social integration (Leidenfrost et al., 2014).

​For the Mentor
​

• Impact and legacy: Mentoring gives the mentor a chance to make a meaningful impact on the lives and careers of others. By sharing their knowledge, experience, and wisdom, mentors contribute to the development of future leaders, leaving a positive and lasting legacy. 
• Personal fulfillment: In general, we all feel a sense of meaning and joy in helping others. It’s easy to see how this can increase job satisfaction.
• Deepened knowledge through teaching: Teaching reinforces understanding, which deepens the mentor’s own knowledge. When I started teaching yoga, it took my practice to a whole new level.
• Leadership and communication skills: Mentoring helps mentors refine leadership and communication skills through guiding and supporting others.

​
For Both:​
​

• Relationship building: Mentoring fosters strong relationships built on trust, respect, and mutual support.
• Broadening perspectives: Both parties gain fresh perspectives, insights, and alternative approaches. It allows them to see situations from different angles and challenge assumptions.
• Personal and professional growth: Mentees can gain self-confidence, improve their decision-making abilities, and enhance their problem-solving skills. Mentors benefit by refining their leadership and communication skills, deepening their knowledge through teaching, and expanding their network.
• Networking opportunities: Mentoring brings new connections. Mentees may be introduced to others in their field who can offer advice or potential career opportunities. And by building relationships with mentees, mentors also expand their professional network.
• Shared goals and successes: Mentoring connects mentees and mentors in pursuing shared goals and celebrating successes together.​

Mentoring Expectations​

As a mentee, here’s what you can expect from your mentor:
​

• Expertise in their field.
• Open and honest communication.
• Mutual respect and trustworthiness.
• A collaborative atmosphere. 
• Guidance and advice.
• Help with goal setting and activities to reach those goals.
• Support and encouragement.
• Regular meetings and check-ins.
• Promotion of independent thinking.
• The sharing of experiences and challenges.
• Constructive feedback without feeling criticized.
• Networking opportunities and advocacy.
• Cultural sensitivity—mentors should be aware of and respect differences.

If a mentorship is not meeting these expectations, it’s probably time to reevaluate. Be open with your mentor. Bring specific examples: “We are supposed to meet every week, but you’ve canceled 10 times.” Review goals and objectives. If this doesn’t help, or if you’re not comfortable being open, you may want to consider searching for a new mentor.​

Examples of Mentoring

• Professional: A senior professional in a particular field takes on a mentee who is early in their career. The mentor provides guidance, advice, and support to help the mentee develop their skills and navigate their career path.
• Academic: A professor mentors a student, providing guidance and support in their academic journey. This typically involves helping with research projects, providing feedback on coursework, and offering career advice in academia.
• Entrepreneurial: An experienced entrepreneur mentors someone who is starting a new business. They may help develop a business plan and offer guidance on making sound business decisions. Years ago, my husband and I started a business and received support from the Small Business Administration (SBA). We were matched with a retired businessperson from the same type of business who provided free guidance.
• Youth: An adult mentors a young person, often through a structured program or organization. The mentor acts as a positive role model, offering guidance, support, and encouragement to help the young person develop life skills, set goals, and make positive choices.
• Diversity and inclusion: A person from an underrepresented group mentors someone from a similar background to help them navigate and succeed in a particular field or industry. The mentor provides support, shares insights, and helps the mentee overcome barriers they may face due to systemic inequalities.
• Reverse mentorship: In this type of mentoring, a younger or less experienced person mentors someone who is older or more experienced in a particular area. This can happen in situations where the younger person has specialized knowledge or skills that can benefit the more senior person, such as with technology or social media.

Mentoring Research

Many studies have found that good mentorships help with career development and career satisfaction (Straus et al., 2013). These studies also suggest that mentoring has advantages for the mentor, the mentee, and the organization (the company or school, for example).

But how do we know what makes a “good” mentorship? 

A 2013 study that conducted extensive interviews with both mentors and mentees identified five major characteristics of successful mentoring relationships (Straus et al., 2013):
​

• Reciprocity—both parties benefit from the relationship
• Mutual respect
• Clear expectations
• Personal connection
• Shared values

The same study identified reasons some mentoring relationships don’t work:
​

• Poor communication
• Lack of commitment
• Personal differences
• Perceived (or real) competition
• Conflicts of interest
• Mentor’s lack of experience

Mentoring Skills

• Active listening: The ability to listen attentively and empathetically is crucial for mentors. Active listening means giving your full attention and fully engaging, not just “hearing.” There’s an effort to understand perspectives and validate experiences. This helps the mentor understand the mentee’s needs and challenges.
• Ability to identify goals: Mentors should assist mentees in setting clear, realistic goals and help them develop actionable plans to achieve those goals (Williams et al., 2004). This involves identifying strengths and areas for improvement, creating a roadmap, and providing guidance on strategies and resources.
• Coaching & feedback: Mentors should possess coaching skills to guide and encourage mentees effectively. They should provide constructive feedback that is specific, timely, and focused on growth. Mentors should help mentees reflect on their actions, learn from mistakes, and celebrate achievements.
• Empathy: Empathy is needed for the mentor to understand the mentee's emotions, concerns, and aspirations. 
• Communication skills: Effective mentors convey ideas clearly and ask thought-provoking questions. They are also able to adapt their communication style to what works best for the mentee.
• Cultural competence: Mentors should be culturally competent and respectful of individual differences. They should be aware of and sensitive to the mentee's cultural background, values, and perspectives. This helps foster trust and understanding.

Mentoring Qualities

• Expertise: A mentor should have a high level of knowledge, skills, and expertise in the field or area relevant to the mentee's goals. 
• Enthusiasm: By showing passion and enthusiasm, the mentor becomes an inspirational force for the mentee (Eller et al., 1014).
• Positive role modeling: Mentors should demonstrate professionalism, integrity, ethical behavior, and a positive attitude. By sharing their own struggles, mentors inspire and motivate mentees to strive for personal growth (Eller et al., 2014). 
• Trustworthiness and respect: Mentees need to feel comfortable sharing their concerns, challenges, and aspirations, knowing that their mentor will keep their discussions private. Respect for each other's ideas and viewpoints encourages individual development.
• Patience and flexibility: Mentoring relationships can be complex and require patience and flexibility from mentors. Mentors should understand that growth takes time and be adaptable to the mentee's changing needs and circumstances.
• Care, empathy, and support: Most mentees think that a mentor should be a friend as well as an advisor (Williams et al., 2004). Mentors should create a safe and supportive environment.

Mentoring Styles

• Directive: In this more traditional style, the mentor takes a more authoritative and instructive approach. They provide specific guidance, offer solutions, and give direct advice to the mentee. This style is more like coaching.
  
• Collaborative: This style focuses on collaboration and mutual learning between the mentor and mentee. Both parties contribute their knowledge, skills, and experiences, fostering a partnership where they learn from each other.
  
• Motivating: This style emphasizes inspiring and motivating the mentee with personal examples, stories, and shared experiences. The mentor is highly involved and the tone of communication is as inspiring as it is informative (Leidenfrost et al., 2014). The mentor may also provide challenges to motivate the mentee. 
  
• Sponsoring: In sponsorship mentoring, the mentor actively promotes the mentee's advancement and advocates for their career growth. They may create opportunities, connect the mentee with influential individuals, and help them navigate organizational dynamics.
  

Mentoring Best Practices

• Ensure compatibility: Not everyone is meant to work together. For a mentoring relationship to work, the parties should have shared values and compatible personalities (Straus et al., 2013).
• Align expectations and establish clear goals: Setting goals keeps the mentee focused and accountable. Mentors can help mentees set goals and create action plans to achieve them. They guide the mentee in identifying their strengths and areas for improvement as well as the steps needed to reach their objectives.
• Build a supportive environment: When the mentee feels supported, they feel free to think independently, be creative, experiment, and offer their own ideas. The skills and traits described above are a great start: genuinely caring, actively listening, showing empathy, giving encouragement, and providing feedback (Nick et al., 2012).
• Develop trust and rapport: Create an environment where both feel free and open to express opinions and new ideas without fear of being criticized (Nick et al., 2012).
• Advocate: This includes providing psychosocial support, helping the mentee achieve work-life balance (or school-life balance), and advising on career progression (Nick et al., 2012).
• Teach networking skills: It’s also important to foster networking opportunities by introducing the mentee to professional networks, events, or contacts that may be able to offer future opportunities. Mentors should encourage mentees to expand their network and connect with others (Nick et al., 2012).

​Video: Mentoring’s Broken: Here’s How to Hack It

Mentoring Responsibilities

Both parties share responsibility for the quality of the mentoring relationship (Dahlberg & Byars-Winston, 2019).

​Mentor responsibilities:

• Provide guidance, advice, feedback, and support.
• Provide insights and perspectives that help develop the mentee’s skills.
• Provide honest and constructive feedback.
• Give encouragement.
• Be a role model. 

 
Mentee responsibilities:

• Come prepared to meetings, ask questions, and seek advice.
• Communicate goals, aspirations, and challenges.
• Be open to feedback, implement suggestions, and try new approaches.
• Take responsibility for progress and follow through on commitments.

  
Joint responsibilities:

• Create a safe and trusting environment where the mentor and mentee treat each other with respect and maintain confidentiality.
• Meet or check in at regular intervals and respond to messages in a timely manner.
• The mentor should help the mentee set clear and achievable goals.
• Both should assess progress, identify areas of improvement, and look for places where the effectiveness of the mentorship can be improved.

Mentoring in the Workplace

Typically, the primary goal of workplace mentoring is to help the mentee develop personally and professionally. The mentor may be a supervisor, but they can also be someone else in the organization, or even someone outside of the organization (Eby et al., 2008).

Studies show mentoring improves employee retention and job satisfaction, which is good for both the company and employees. In addition, women and people of color reported that they find mentoring at work especially meaningful and vital to their careers (Tu & Li, 2021).  In fact, some companies see mentoring as so valuable for developing and keeping employees that they’ve set up mentoring programs within their organization (Eby et al., 2008). 

Another type of mentoring in the workplace is called “reverse mentoring.” As described above, this is when a younger, more junior employee acts as a mentor to share expertise (usually tech skills or social media skills) with an older, more senior coworker. Not only does this promote a culture of continuous learning, but it also fosters positive cross-generational working relationships.​

Mentoring for Youth

Youth mentoring involves a relationship between a caring and supportive adult and a child or adolescent. Sometimes these relationships occur naturally, while other times they’re set up through a program like Big Brothers or Big Sisters. 

Youth mentoring has been used as a strategy to help youths develop in positive and healthy ways and avoid risky behaviors. These relationships are thought to play a role in personal, emotional, cognitive, and psychological growth (Eby et al., 2008). 

One study showed a clear association between the quality of the mentoring relationship and the mentee’s improvement in school and social functioning (Goldner & Mayseless, 2009). Other research links youth (and adult) mentoring to positive self-image, emotional adjustment, and psychological well-being. In addition, youth mentoring is related to positive social relationships, better performance at school, and less problem behavior (Eby et al., 2008)

However, as with other types of mentoring, its success depends upon the nature and quality of the relationship or program. In fact, poorly implemented programs can even have an adverse effect (DuBois et al., 2002). For youth mentoring, it’s crucial that mentors are well-trained. The best practices discussed above apply to youth mentoring as well.​

Articles Related to Mentoring

​Want to learn more? Check out these articles:

• Boundaries In Relationships: Definition, Benefits, & Examples
• Helping Others: Definition, Benefits, & Examples
• Control Your Mind: Techniques, Examples, & Quotes​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Books Related to Mentoring

If you’d like to keep learning more, here are a few books that you might be interested in.

• A Game Plan For Life: The Power of Mentoring
• Monday Morning Mentoring: Ten Lessons to Guide You Up the Ladder
• Mentoring 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know

Final Thoughts on Mentoring​

Mentoring can play a vital role in personal and professional growth, benefiting both mentees and mentors. Through guidance, support, and knowledge sharing, a good mentoring relationship empowers mentees to unlock their full potential and navigate challenges with confidence. Mentoring fosters meaningful connections, cultivates skills, and nurtures a culture of continuous learning. 

In addition, we all have a need to belong. Mentoring can meet the need for affiliation and acceptance. Whether through youth mentoring, academic guidance, career development, or reverse mentoring, this practice can help you grow and develop throughout all stages of life (Eby et al., 2008).

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References

• Dahlberg, M. L., & Byars-Winston, A. (2019). The science of mentoring relationships: What is mentorship? The Science of Effective Mentorship in STEMM. National Academies Press.
• DuBois, D. L., Holloway, B. E., Valentine, J. C., & Cooper, H. (2002). Effectiveness of mentoring programs for youth: A meta‐analytic review. American Journal of Community Psychology, 30(2), 157–197.
• Eby, L. T., Allen, T. D., Evans, S. C., Ng, T., & DuBois, D. L. (2008). Does mentoring matter? A multidisciplinary meta-analysis comparing mentored and non-mentored individuals. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 72(2), 254–267.
• Eller, L. S., Lev, E. L., & Feurer, A. (2014). Key components of an effective mentoring relationship: A qualitative study. Nurse Education Today, 34(5), 815–820.
• Goldner, L., & Mayseless, O. (2009). The quality of mentoring relationships and mentoring success. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 38, 1339–1350.
• Kammeyer-Mueller, J. D., & Judge, T. A. (2008). A quantitative review of mentoring research: Test of a model. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 72(3), 269–283.
• Leidenfrost, B., Strassnig, B., Schütz, M., Carbon, C. C., & Schabmann, A. (2014). The impact of peer mentoring on mentee academic performance: Is any mentoring style better than no mentoring at all?. International Journal of Teaching and Learning in Higher Education, 26(1), 102–111.
• Nick, J. M., Delahoyde, T. M., Del Prato, D., Mitchell, C., Ortiz, J., Ottley, C., . . . & Siktberg, L. (2012). Best practices in academic mentoring: A model for excellence. Nursing Research and Practice, 2012(1).
• Straus, S. E., Johnson, M. O., Marquez, C., & Feldman, M. D. (2013). Characteristics of successful and failed mentoring relationships: a qualitative study across two academic health centers. Academic Medicine: Journal of the Association of American Medical Colleges, 88(1), 82.
• Tu, M., & Li, M. (2021). What great mentorship looks like in a hybrid workplace. Harvard Business Review. 
• Williams, L. L., Levine, J. B., Malhotra, S., & Holtzheimer, P. (2004). The good-enough mentoring relationship. Academic Psychiatry, 28, 111–115.

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