Reverse Psychology: Definition & Examples​

By Beth Birenbaum, MPH
Have you ever felt like you’ve been tricked by reverse psychology? Let’s explore how and why this technique works.
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Have you ever had such an adverse reaction to being told to do something that you did the opposite, even though it’s not what you really wanted to do? Or for those of you with kids, do you ever encourage the opposite of what you want them to do, hoping they'll do your desired action out of rebellion? This is the world of reverse psychology.

Nobody likes being told what to do. But have you ever wondered why we have this strong 
reaction to it? And is there any science behind this persuasion technique?

Like many things in psychology, this topic is nuanced. Reverse psychology can be effective in certain situations, but it's not a magic bullet. In this article, we’ll explore the world of reverse psychology, examining the situations where it works, the potential pitfalls, and the ethical considerations involved.
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What Is Reverse Psychology? (A Definition)​

Reverse psychology is a persuasion technique where you advocate for the opposite of what you want someone to do, hoping they will do the opposite of what you tell them and choose what you actually want them to do (Cherry, 2023). It's essentially a strategic attempt to play on someone's natural inclination to resist being told what to do. 

Researchers often refer to this as “strategic self-anticonformity” (MacDonald et al., 2011). By presenting a reverse or counterintuitive suggestion, the hope is that it triggers a reaction where the person feels a need to assert their independence or make a choice contrary to what was suggested.

Reverse psychology works because of a phenomenon called reactance. Reactance is our tendency to feel uncomfortable when a choice is taken away or our independence feels threatened. In response, we react or rebel against that perceived threat (Brehm, 1966; Steindl et al., 2015). 

This video explains in more detail how it works.

Video: How Does Reverse Psychology Work?​

Examples of Reverse Psychology

  • With children: The classic example of reverse psychology is using the “I bet you can’t” strategy with children (“I bet you can’t eat all those vegetables”), thus motivating them to prove you wrong. 
  • In relationships: In relationships, people may use reverse psychology by playing hard to get. They might act uninterested or unavailable in the hopes that the other person will become more interested in pursuing them. You might also use reverse psychology to compliment someone in a way that suggests they have a flaw you want them to overcome. For example, saying, "You're so organized; I bet you never lose anything!" might motivate them to be more careful with their belongings.
  • In marketing: An ad might say, "This product is definitely not for everyone," to create a sense of exclusivity and desirability. A limited-time offer might be presented to imply the product is almost sold out in order to create a sense of urgency and encourage people to buy. And we’ve all heard the “while supplies last” tactic.

Is Reverse Psychology Manipulation?

Many researchers consider reverse psychology manipulative (MacDonald et al., 2011; Rice, 2021; Simkus, 2023). 

First, reverse psychology exploits the psychological principle of reactance. As mentioned above, this describes the innate human tendency to resist external pressure and maintain autonomy. By suggesting the opposite of what you want, you aim to trigger this reactance, leading the person to choose your desired option out of their own desire for control. This approach bypasses their genuine decision-making process and focuses on influencing their behavior indirectly.

In addition, by its nature, reverse psychology lacks transparency. By presenting the opposite of your true desire, you're engaging in a form of deception, even if it's subtle. This creates a power imbalance where the other person is unaware of your true intentions, potentially leading to feelings of confusion, mistrust, and even resentment if they discover the manipulation.

However, the ethical implications of using reverse psychology can depend on the context, the relationship between the people involved, and the intentions behind the strategy. If employed ethically and with consideration for the well-being of the individual, reverse psychology can be a relatively harmless and playful technique. Still, it's essential to be mindful of the potential impact it may have on trust and communication in relationships.

Benefits of Reverse Psychology

Despite its manipulative nature, reverse psychology can be beneficial, depending on the situation. It can help with:
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  • Overcoming resistance: When people feel they are being pushed or coerced into doing something, they may resist or become defensive. Reverse psychology can sometimes help to overcome this resistance by making the individual feel like the decision is their own idea.
  • Empowerment: Reverse psychology can make individuals feel empowered by giving them the impression that they are making a choice on their own terms. This can lead to a greater sense of control and satisfaction.
  • Changing perspective: By presenting the opposite of what you actually want, you can prompt individuals to reconsider their initial stance or opinions. This can be useful in situations where someone is being stubborn or closed-minded.
  • Encouraging independence: Reverse psychology can foster a sense of independence and autonomy, making people more likely to take initiative and make decisions on their own.
  • Maintaining relationships: When used appropriately, reverse psychology can be a lighthearted and playful way to navigate disagreements or negotiations without causing tension. It can be a useful tool for diffusing conflict.
  • Encouraging cooperation: By suggesting the opposite of what you want, you may prompt others to cooperate or take actions that align with your actual goal, especially if they perceive it as a way to defy your suggestion.
  • Greater self-awareness and motivation: When someone is challenged to do the opposite of what they want, it can make them more aware of their own motivations and desires. This can lead to greater self-awareness and a stronger sense of self-determination.
  • Promoting creativity: When someone is presented with a challenge or limitation, it can force them to think outside the box and come up with new solutions. This can be beneficial in brainstorming sessions or when trying to overcome obstacles.

Reverse Psychology in Relationships​

Reverse psychology can have both positive and negative effects on relationships, depending on the intentions behind its use and the communication dynamics between partners. When used with good intentions and sensitivity, reverse psychology can inject a playful or dynamic element into a relationship. For instance, subtly encouraging a partner to pursue a goal they might be hesitant about can empower them to take on challenges they might have otherwise avoided. It can create a sense of independence and agency, fostering personal growth and self-development. Maybe something like: “Well, you probably can’t exercise every day, right?” 

However, the impact of reverse psychology can turn negative if it's used manipulatively or without genuine consideration for the partner's feelings. If one partner consistently uses reverse psychology as a way to control or manipulate, it can erode trust and lead to communication breakdowns. Relationships built on honesty, trust, and open communication are more likely to withstand the challenges associated with psychological tactics. It's crucial for partners to be aware of each other's boundaries, communicate openly about their desires and concerns, and ensure that any use of reverse psychology is done in a spirit of mutual respect and understanding.

Reverse Psychology After Rejection

Sometimes we use reverse psychology after being rejected as a strategy to manage strong feelings or manipulate the person who rejected us. Instead of expressing disappointment or resentment, we adopt a nonchalant demeanor, downplaying the significance of the rejection. 

For example, let’s say someone breaks up with you, and rather than showing how upset you are, you take a “whatever” attitude. Maybe you say something like, “Yeah, it’s obvious we’re not right for each other. You should definitely go find someone who’s a better fit.” But in reality, you’re hoping this unexpected response makes them want you back.

The aim is to invoke curiosity or a sense of loss. This approach may prompt the other person to reconsider their decision, or, at the very least, it may create a psychological dynamic that stimulates second thoughts. In essence, you’re using reverse psychology to subtly shift the power dynamic and potentially elicit a different response from the person who initially rejected you.

Reverse Psychology in the Office

When used occasionally and subtly and with the right person, reverse psychology can motivate a coworker or employee to do something they might otherwise resist. For example, if someone is dragging their feet on a task, telling them not to worry about it might spark their motivation. Or, if it’s used playfully and with mutual understanding, it can add a bit of fun to team dynamics.

Here’s an example: Imagine you're working on a project with a colleague, and you need their input on a certain task. They seem a bit hesitant or unsure. Instead of being too direct, you can use reverse psychology by saying something like, "You know, I was thinking about this task, and it's probably too mundane for someone as busy and important as you. I'm sure you wouldn't find it challenging at all." 

If done between two colleagues in a joking way, it can be harmless or even helpful. However, it can backfire. People might not react as expected, leading to confusion or resentment. In addition, most professionals consider clear and transparent communication more appropriate—not to mention more ethical.

Video: Michael’s Class on Reverse Psychology

Reverse Psychology Methods

Here are a few examples of reverse psychology methods:
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  • Forbidden fruit technique: Highlight the forbidden nature of a particular behavior or choice, making it more appealing by framing it as something they shouldn't do.
  • Double bind: Present two options, both of which lead to the desired outcome, creating a sense of autonomy and control for the individual while still guiding them toward the intended choice.
  • Negative reverse psychology: Emphasize the negative aspects of the desired behavior to make it seem less appealing. This may spark a rebellious or contrary reaction, leading the person to choose the behavior you actually want.
  • Reverse ultimatum: Instead of issuing a demand, present a situation that inspires the person to make a decision in favor of the desired outcome, as it appears to be their choice.
  • Inception technique: Plant the idea of the desired behavior in a subtle way, making the person believe they came up with the idea themselves. This can lead to increased motivation to act on the suggestion.

Reverse Psychology in Advertising

Reverse psychology can be a powerful tool in advertising and is used often (Hajjat, 2016). Here are some ways it can work:
​
  • Challenging the audience: Advertisements may challenge the audience by suggesting that a product is not suitable for everyone or that only a select group of people would appreciate it. This can make individuals more inclined to prove that they are part of the exclusive group by purchasing the product.
  • Reversing roles: Advertisers may use imagery or language that suggests a role reversal, where the consumer is in control or has the upper hand. This can create a sense of empowerment, making individuals more receptive to the message.
  • Admitting flaws: Some advertisements admit minor flaws or imperfections in a product, making the message appear more honest and transparent. By acknowledging these flaws, the advertiser may create a perception of authenticity, which can build trust with the audience.
  • Anti-marketing approach: Advertisers might take an anti-marketing stance, positioning their product as an alternative to mainstream or traditional options. This can appeal to consumers who want to resist conforming to typical trends. For example, an ad might say, "Don't be like everyone else—try the new flavor!" This implies that the majority is choosing something boring, making the new option seem more exciting.

Reverse Psychology vs. Gaslighting

Depending on the situation, reverse psychology can be used in a lighthearted way. The person using it may have benign or even helpful intentions, as in persuading your partner to watch the movie you want to watch or getting your child to do something that’s good for them. This is not the case with gaslighting. 

Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation that seeks to make a person doubt their perceptions, memories, or sanity. Gaslighters employ tactics to undermine someone's confidence, causing them to question their own reality. Unlike reverse psychology, gaslighting is generally malicious and can have serious consequences for the victim's mental health and well-being. It often involves persistent denial, distortion of facts, and attempts to make the victim feel confused or crazy (Kukreja & Pandey, 2023).

Reverse Psychology in Politics

There seems to be a trend where politicians intentionally attract criticism or negative attention from certain groups, knowing that it will strengthen their support with a different demographic. This can create a sense of solidarity among their base.

We can see how reverse psychology played a part in politicizing mask-wearing during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. When mask mandates were introduced, some people perceived it as a personal threat to their freedom rather than a precaution during a public health emergency and reacted by doing the opposite (Rains et al., 2022). Some politicians took advantage of this and encouraged this reactance to garner support, as in, “Don’t let them take your freedom away!”

Reverse Psychology for Losing Weight

Most weight loss programs encourage a cheerleading-type “you can do it!” attitude. However, losing weight is hard and takes time. Maintaining that type of overly peppy, cheerful attitude over time is pretty hard, especially if you underestimate how difficult it really is to change eating habits or if you have any setbacks. Understanding just how hard it is to lose weight can damage self-esteem and your sense of self-efficacy when you come up against setbacks.

One study, though, showed that it may actually be more effective to approach weight loss more realistically. This doesn’t mean telling yourself you can’t lose weight, but it does mean acknowledging the obstacles involved. The study found that when the researchers explained to people the science of why it’s so hard to lose weight, it triggered reactance or pushback. So it ended up motivating them more, and they doubled down on their efforts to avoid overeating (Lowe et al., 2018).

Articles Related to Reverse Psychology

​Want to learn more? Check out these articles:

Books Related to Reverse Psychology

If you’d like to keep learning more, here are a few books that you might be interested in.

Final Thoughts on Reverse Psychology​

Reverse psychology can be effective. But should we use it? It might be a good strategy to use to get a child to do something good for them when they’re resistant. It can be seen as gentle persuasion when it’s used playfully in the context of a close relationship (as in, “Oh, you won’t like that movie anyway; it’s too intellectual for you”). It can also be a good way to get someone to consider an alternative perspective or think outside the box. And it can be motivating, like in the case of weight loss.

However, there are some serious drawbacks. First, it doesn’t always work. Worse, it can backfire, especially if the person sees through it, creating resentment and a loss of trust. In addition, there are ethical considerations because it involves strategically exploiting our inherent tendency to resist, so there’s usually some degree of manipulation. 

Overall, reverse psychology can be a valuable persuasion tool, but it should be used judiciously. Using it effectively and ethically requires understanding the person you’re interacting with, their motivations, and the context of the situation.​

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