Mirroring: Definition, Examples, & Psychology

By By Beth Birenbaum, MPH
​Reviewed by Tchiki Davis, M.A., Ph.D.
Mirroring is when we unconsciously imitate others during social interactions. Learn about why we do it and its benefits.​
*This page may include affiliate links; that means we earn from qualifying purchases of products.
Have you ever noticed that longtime couples sometimes seem so in sync they start to look alike? Or have you found yourself adopting speech patterns or gestures from a close friend or family member?

When visiting my sister’s hometown, I was shopping for a costume to wear to a Halloween party. I’m not very good at that kind of stuff, so the salesperson was helping me. ​
After I spoke with her for a while, she said, “You just remind me so much of someone I used to work with.” Since this was in a smallish college town where most of the locals know each other, I thought maybe she was thinking of my sister. That was it: She had worked with my sister years ago, but they hadn't seen each other since leaving that job.

Although my sister and I look like, well . . . that wasn’t the reason. What reminded the salesperson of my sister were my speech patterns, body language, and gestures. This is an example of mirroring. My sister and I had unconsciously picked up these things from each other.
​Before reading on, if you're a therapist, coach, or wellness entrepreneur, be sure to grab our free Wellness Business Growth eBook to get expert tips and free resources that will help you grow your business exponentially.​​​​​​​​​
Are You a Therapist, Coach, or Wellness Entrepreneur?

Grab Our Free eBook to Learn How to
Grow Your Wellness Business Exponentially!

 ✓  Save hundreds of hours of time  ✓  Earn more $ faster  
​✓  Boost your credibility ✓  Deliver high-impact content 

What Is Mirroring? (A Definition)​

In psychology, the term mirroring refers to when we unconsciously imitate someone else’s behavior in social interactions. This can include body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice (Chartrand & Bargh, 1999). Researchers believe mirroring is an automatic and involuntary process. A more technical term for mirroring is isopraxis. You may also hear it referred to as “the chameleon effect” or emotional mimicry.​

Video: What Is Mirroring

Benefits of Mirroring

The positive effects of mirroring are mostly related to building connections, empathy, or affiliation with others. Here are some benefits:
​
  • Mirroring creates social bonds and builds social connection (Chartrand & Bargh, 1999).
  • It promotes interpersonal communication and empathy. When we mirror each other, an empathetic relationship is more likely to develop (Rajmohan & Mohandas, 2007).
  • Mirroring increases prosocial behavior. When we are being mirrored, we tend to be more helpful, and this effect also applies to the person doing the mirroring (van Baaren et al., 2004).
  • Mirroring increases rapport, liking, and trust between people (Chartrand & Bargh, 1999).
  • It helps create a sense of similarity and shared experience (Chartrand & Bargh, 1999).

Why Do We Use Mirroring?

Mirroring is embedded in the way our brains work through the mirror neuron system. The mirror neuron system is a group of specialized neurons (nerve cells) that automatically trigger us to mimic the actions and behaviors of other people. So simply perceiving someone else’s behavior increases the likelihood that we will unconsciously do the same behavior. These neurons also help us recognize other people’s actions and allow us to determine their intention (Rajmohan & Mohandas, 2007). 

The mirror neuron system contributes to the ability to have “Theory of Mind” (Rajmohan & Mohandas, 2007). This refers to the ability to recognize that someone else has a state of mind that’s different from our own and to understand what that state of mind might be. It’s pretty easy to see how being able to understand another’s state of mind would help create bonding and empathy. Thus mirroring behavior is likely related to our human need for belonging and social connection.
​
Researchers also argue that there is an evolutionary advantage to mirroring. It helped our ancestors survive by fostering nonverbal communication (Lakin et al., 2003). Mirroring may also have helped us develop verbal communication because mirror neurons are located in the area of the brain thought to be responsible for speech.

Examples of Mirroring

  • Posture - When having a conversation, you may find you’re mimicking the other person’s movements and posture. For example, if they cross their legs, you do too. 
  • Tone of voice - If the person we’re interacting with is talking in a slow, calm manner, we tend to adopt that tone as well.
  • Accent - If you’ve ever moved somewhere where the people in the community speak with a different accent than you do, you may find yourself picking it up. Once while I was talking with my husband, he suddenly exclaimed, “Stop vocal frying!” Wait, what is he talking about? I don’t do that. (In case you don’t know, vocal fry is when your voice is very low-pitched and has a creaking sound.) Unbeknownst to me, I had picked up this habit from some people I worked with. After he pointed it out, I had to admit he was right. Since then, I’ve managed to shake the newly acquired and somewhat annoying habit. 
  • Facial expressions - We tend to mimic others’ facial expressions. If the other person is smiling, we do too. I remember using this intentionally when I was in customer support. I could tell the customer approaching my desk was upset. So I looked right into his eyes and gave him a huge smile as if I were greeting my best friend. He softened a bit and actually told me I had such a nice smile that he was finding it hard to stay mad.
  • Gestures - If we’re in a conversation with someone who talks with their hands, we tend to do the same and often pick up similar movements.
  • Mood - We also tend to unconsciously mirror the mood of those around us. If the people we’re with are happy and upbeat, we may feel that way as well. Or on the other hand, has someone in your family come home after a bad day and you can just “feel” it? I’ve definitely seen my bad day rub off on my husband.
​
You may be wondering if it’s possible to do some of these things intentionally to build rapport, establish trust, or convey empathy. It can work, and some therapists use it in this way. However, when performed poorly, it can have the opposite effect and turn people off. It can come off as insincere or fake. Also, focusing too much on imitating someone’s actions can take attention away from active listening. 

Tips for Effective Conscious Mirroring to Build Rapport​

  • Start building a connection by listening first.
  • Nod or tilt your head as you listen.
  • Match their vocal tone and cadence.
  • Use similar (but not the same) words.
  • Try mirroring gestures and posture.
  • Don’t mirror “negative” gestures such as crossing your arms.
  • Don’t try to mirror gestures too exactly. It can feel contrived or manipulative.
  • Don’t devote so much energy to the mirroring that you become stressed.

Mirroring in Psychology: Research

  • Likability - In a study where participants were subtly mirrored by an actor, they were more likely to rate the actor as likable and trustworthy (Chartrand & Bargh, 1999).
  • Prosocial behavior - Studies show mirroring promotes prosocial behavior by both the person being mirrored and the person doing the mirroring (van Baaren et al., 2004). An experiment from 2008 found that when participants mimicked the expressions of others in a video, they donated more money to a charity than those who did not mimic, even though the video had nothing to do with the charity (Stel et al., 2008).
  • Creating affiliation - A study indicated that when we have a goal to establish an affiliation with someone, our amount of mirroring tends to increase. And when we’re not successful in establishing that connection, mirroring behavior increases even more (Lakin & Chartrand, 2003). 
  • Similarity - In another study, participants were more likely to mirror the behaviors of someone when they were told they have shared personality traits. This suggests that we are more likely to mirror others when believe they are similar to us (van Baaren et al., 2004).
  • Attention - Mirroring may even improve something seemingly unrelated: learning math. In one study, when college students did a movement mirroring activity before learning math, they were able to solve test problems more quickly than a non-mirroring group. Researchers believe this is because the mirroring exercise improved attention (Smyrnis & Ginns, 2016).
  • Excessive mirroring - Excessive mirroring can have a detrimental effect, especially when it’s done to be manipulative. For example, one study found that too much mirroring can make people feel uncomfortable or even threatened.

Mirroring Facial Expressions

Studies suggest that your facial expressions can make you feel the emotion that you’re showing (McGarry & Russo, 2011). So it makes sense that mirroring someone else’s facial expressions can help you feel what they’re feeling. In addition to contributing to empathy, mirroring facial expressions also promotes connection and liking between two people. I’ve definitely had the experience where I wasn’t feeling so great when I arrived at work, but after interacting with smiling, upbeat coworkers, I started to feel better.

However, intentionally mirroring facial expressions may be less effective. Facial expressions happen much more quickly than body movements and behaviors, so trying to distinguish subtle differences in facial configurations can be cognitively depleting (Kulesza et al., 2015). In other words, trying to keep track of and copy someone’s quickly changing and subtle facial expressions requires so much effort that the interaction no longer feels natural. The extra effort can also cause stress for the person doing the mirroring which may show up in nonverbal behavior.

Mirroring Exercises

  • The mirror game - This is a body mirroring exercise taken from dance/movement therapy (DMT). DMT is “the psychotherapeutic use of movement to promote emotional, social, cognitive, and physical integration of the individual” (ADTA, 2020). In this exercise, two people mimic one another’s body language, posture, and gestures (Feniger-Schaal et al., 2018). It’s typically used in counseling sessions, coaching, or team-building activities to create a sense of connection and rapport between participants. Here are the basics of how you do it: Two people stand facing each other about three feet apart. One person moves and the other duplicates their movements exactly without touching them. Then they switch roles. If done well, an observer shouldn’t be able to tell who is the leader and who is mimicking. Studies indicate this exercise brings an improved sense of togetherness. 
  • Vocal mirroring - In this exercise, participants match the tone, pitch, and pace of the speaker’s voice. It is commonly used in sales and customer service training to establish a connection with customers and build trust. 
  • Reflection - In this exercise, you paraphrase what someone has said to show that you are listening and understanding their point of view. For example, if someone is complaining about their job, you might say, “It sounds like this new job is creating a lot of stress and frustration for you.”
  • Facial expression mirroring - This involves intentionally mimicking facial expressions and emotions to create a sense of empathy and understanding. ​

Video: Mirroring

Mirroring in Therapy

Many therapists use mirroring to help create rapport and trust with the patient. Studies show that both parties find it brings a better sense of understanding and empathy. Researchers believe that this heightened sense of connection happens because the area of the brain involved in perception overlaps with the area involved in movement (McGarry & Russo, 2011). So, the motor area of the brain also influences our experience of emotion.

The way it works in a therapy session is the therapist echoes the patient’s behaviors and general body posture. For example, if the patient is slumping, the therapist does this too. The mirroring is intended to be subtle, and the patient may not even notice. 

However, in another technique, the patient may be asked to engage in obvious mirroring or do a mirroring exercise. As mentioned above, these practices are often taken from dance/movement therapy (DMT). The therapist may use techniques like the mirror game.

Mirroring in BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is characterized by intense and unstable moods, difficulties with self-identity, and problems with interpersonal relationships (APA, 2023). It is thought that a dysfunctional mirror neuron system may play a role in BPD (Rajmohan & Mohandas, 2007).

Studies suggest that the challenges faced by people with Borderline Personality Disorder can lead to a feeling of social rejection (Hauschild et al., 2018). This, in turn, often leads to increased mirroring behavior in an attempt to establish connections with others. In addition, we often see increased levels of mirroring in people struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder due to a lack of a sense of self-identity. Difficulty distinguishing between self and others leads them to adopt the behaviors and attitudes of others around them (De Meulemeester et al., 2021).

This increased mirroring behavior can cause additional difficulties for those with Borderline Personality Disorder because it tends to make them feel inauthentic and gives a further sense of disconnection from their core values and beliefs. It can also lead to difficulties in setting boundaries and making decisions because they are influenced by the opinions and behaviors of others.

However, one study showed that in Borderline Personality Disorder, participants who reported very high levels of loneliness, the level of mirroring decreased. This suggests that mirroring was no longer engaged in at all, which may mean the lack of mirroring was responsible for extreme loneliness. Or conversely, it could be that mirroring was absent because previous attempts at forming relationships had failed. This made them feel rejected, so they choose to avoid further attempts to connect with others (Hauschild et al., 2018).   ​

Mirroring a Narcissist

Most mirroring occurs naturally, without conscious control and without intent to manipulate. Narcissistic mirroring is when someone intentionally mirrors to create an illusion of connection. You may feel like they really “get” you and that you can really open up to them. This gives them an ‘in’ to learn your weak points and fears and, ultimately, they use this information to manipulate you. One reason for this behavior is that people with narcissistic personality disorder tend to be preoccupied with power.
 
But what if you mirror them back? What effect would this have?
 
Mirroring a narcissist, or reverse narcissistic mirroring, is simply reflecting the narcissist’s behaviors back to them. This may be done to try to get them to look more closely at their behavior, or it may be an attempt by the person being manipulated to regain control. So far, no studies that I’m aware of have been done to investigate whether this is an effective or even a healthy response.

Articles Related to Mirroring​

​Want to learn more? Check out these articles:

Books Related to Mirroring​

If you’d like to keep learning more, here are a few books that you might be interested in.

Final Thoughts on Mirroring​

Mirroring is a behavior that we all do on an unconscious level and appears to be an innate part of human interactions. This is a good thing since it plays a big role in creating connection and a sense of empathy. The next time you feel that sense of connection, like you’re really in tune with someone, try noticing if the two of you are sharing body posture, hand gestures, tone of voice, or facial expressions. Mirroring may be helping the relationship along.​

Don't Forget to Grab Our Free eBook to Learn How to
Grow Your Wellness Business Exponentially!

References
Are You a Therapist, Coach, or Wellness Entrepreneur?
Grab Our Free eBook to Learn How to Grow Your Wellness Business Fast!
Key Articles:Content Packages:
Terms, Privacy & Affiliate Disclosure  |   About   |   Blog   |   Contact   |   FAQs
* The Berkeley Well-Being Institute. LLC is not affiliated with UC Berkeley.
Copyright © 2024, The Berkeley Well-Being Institute, LLC