Self-Realization: Definition, Benefits, & Examples​

By Charlie Huntington, M.A., Ph.D. Candidate

Self-realization is knowing who you are and acting in accordance with that knowledge. But achieving self-realization may not be as straightforward as it sounds.

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The older I get, the more often I have experiences where, whether in the moment or after the fact, I look at what has happened and I say to myself, “That was me being my best self.” The moments have been coming more often for at least two reasons. First, I have learned to let go of many of the “shoulds” I long carried about myself. Second, I have been better able to organize my life so that it brings out the best in me. 

Nowadays, whether I’m in a therapy session, writing a song, cooking for my housemates, or exercising with a friend, I get regular doses of this satisfying sensation.

Expressing ourselves as we really are seems like a goal shared by most people. Yet we all have unhelpful or limiting expectations of ourselves—and we face those same expectations from others. We also all must deal with the many barriers to self-expression that daily life serves up for us, whether it’s the unwritten rule that you don’t sing along to your music on the subway or the fact that you can’t be a homesteader and enjoy all the perks of city life at the same time. How do we figure out what really makes us tick, what activities and ways of being are ideal for us? How do we give ourselves permission to be that person and get the rest of the world to accept us as we are? Let’s look at the science of self-realization to better understand these processes.

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What Is Self-Realization? (A Definition)​

Self-realization is the process of uncovering and living out your fullest potential as a human being (Ryan & Deci, 2001). It is knowing yourself and acting on that knowledge. It involves both doing and being: It is not only the activities I choose to fill my life with but also whether I engage in them as an obligation or as an expression of who I am.

Here’s an example of what makes self-realization distinct from other ways of being. When I listen to a friend describe a challenge in their life, I can do so for several different reasons. If I’m listening because I know they have nobody else to talk to, or they have exhausted the support of their other friends, I am listening out of a sense of duty. On the other hand, if I listen because it fulfills my inherent desire to be in meaningful connection with other people, because listening is something I naturally love to do, then I am in a moment of self-realization.

A famous and well-respected psychodynamic psychologist, Karen Horney, wrote at length about self-realizing people. According to Horney (1950), self-realizing people have a deep and abiding sense of who they are. They accept this sense of self, which allows them to take responsibility for their lives and decisively act on their personal values. Since they have a firm sense of self, they can freely step outside themselves to help others; they have limits on this giving, knowing that they won’t betray their deepest selves even if others ask them to. This allows them to show care for themselves and others at the same time.​

The self-realizing people in my life look this way. They are rarely selfish, although they know just how important their own needs are and don’t shortchange them. They are generous with their time and attention, but they won’t be giving to the point where they hurt themselves or grow resentful. And they are happy, because their daily lives are structured around work and activities that give them joy and fill their lives with meaning.

Why Is Self-Realization Important?​

Psychologists from many different disciplines, from psychoanalysis to humanistic psychology and cognitive-behavioral therapy, have written at length about the importance of self-realization in human life (Rusu, 2019). The term itself was introduced by the psychoanalyst Carl Jung, who framed self-realization as a necessary component of overcoming one’s neuroses, but it was taken over and repurposed by humanistic psychologists such as Abraham Maslow and Carl Rogers, who redefined self-realization as the peak of human experience, not a means to ending suffering.

What all these scholars were in agreement about with regards to self-realization was that human life is incomplete or on some level unfulfilling without it. And subsequent research on self-realization has affirmed that there are real health consequences to having (or not having) experiences of self-realization (Ryff, 2013). This makes a lot of sense to me: If you live your life in the service only of other people’s needs and goals, how can you feel good about yourself? Wouldn’t you need some ways (probably not healthy ones!) to cope with this frustration?​

Benefits of Self-Realization

What are some of the tangible benefits of self-realization? One study found that people who experienced more self-realization pursued their goals more often and had better physical health (Miquelon & Vallerand, 2006). This may be because a primary benefit of self-realization is, well, feeling good! It’s called eudaimonic well-being, and it is known to be higher in people who have more self-realization in their lives (Huta & Waterman, 2014).
 
Interestingly, people experience more self-realization as they get older (Ivtzan et al., 2013), in keeping with what I have observed in my own life. I think this comes down to knowing oneself better and better with time, as well as having more resources and control over one’s life. Maybe this is why, anecdotally, grandmothers in particular seem to be enjoying themselves the most: They are over and done with trying to make themselves fit somebody else’s mold!​

Examples of Self-Realization

While self-realization varies widely from one person to the next, there are some commonalities to people’s experiences of self-realization. People report that in self-realizing moments, they are usually highly interested in what they are doing, feel that they are expressing themselves in a powerful way, and are in some kind of flow state (Waterman et al., 2003). So what does this look like in practice, exactly? Personally, I usually experience all of those sensations, at least to some extent, when I am writing or playing music. I find both activities very engaging, I get to put something of myself out there, and I can lose myself in the task.
 
This might be a nice moment to think for yourself about what activities in your life feel self-realizing. Do you lose yourself in drawing or painting? Does having a thriving vegetable garden feel like an expression of your joy in nature? Do you feel utterly fulfilled after teaching a class or engaging in imaginative play with your young child? Almost any activity can conceivably be self-realizing; it is mostly a question of whether it speaks to you or not.​

Self-Realization in a Spiritual Context

Self-realization in a spiritual context refers to the profound understanding and experience of one's true nature, beyond the ego or individual identity. It involves recognizing and realizing the essence of who you are at the deepest level of your being.

Here's a more detailed description of self-realization in a spiritual context:

1. Recognition of the true self: Self-realization involves recognizing that your true identity is not limited to your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, or physical body, but is something deeper and more fundamental. It is the realization that your essence is pure consciousness or awareness, which transcends the individual ego.
2. Transcendence of the ego: Self-realization involves transcending the limitations of the ego—the part of the mind that creates a sense of individual identity and separateness. It is the recognition that the ego is a temporary and illusory construct, and that your true self is the unchanging awareness in which all experiences arise.
3. Unity consciousness: Self-realization often involves experiencing a sense of unity or oneness with all of existence. It is the recognition that at the deepest level, you are not separate from the world around you, but are intimately interconnected with all beings and all of creation.
4. Inner peace and contentment: Self-realization brings a deep sense of inner peace, contentment, and fulfillment. It is the realization that true happiness and fulfillment cannot be found in external circumstances or the pursuit of material desires, but arise naturally from within when you are aligned with your true self.
5. Clarity and insight: Self-realization brings clarity, insight, and understanding into the nature of reality, the human experience, and the purpose of life. It is the realization that life is a journey of growth and self-discovery, and that the ultimate aim is to awaken to the truth of who you are.
6. Embodiment of truth: Self-realization is not just a theoretical understanding, but a lived experience that transforms every aspect of your life. It is the embodiment of truth, love, compassion, and wisdom in all your thoughts, words, and actions.

Self-realization is often described as the ultimate goal of spiritual practice, and it is a journey of exploration, discovery, and awakening that unfolds over time. It is a deeply personal and transformative experience that can bring profound meaning, purpose, and fulfillment to your life.​

Self-Realization and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Self-realization, or self-actualization, as he called it, is the final and most complex need in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (Maslow, 1962). Maslow defined self-actualization as growing, creating, and developing one’s individuality and personal abilities. He contrasted it with the other needs in his hierarchy by pointing out that it offers an increase in wellness rather than relief from some need going unmet.
 
While other needs primarily focus on survival and safety as an individual and a social being, Maslow observed that self-actualization instead involves intentionally moving toward discomfort and uncertainty. After all, the only way to really grow as an individual is to try things we are not sure we can do. Maslow believed that accomplishing this risk-taking and self-growth made people more interesting to be around and able to have deeper relationships too.​

Self-Realization Meditation​

For many people, meditation is an invaluable tool in their quest for self-realization. Meditation slows down our lives, bringing us into a stillness in which we might hear more clearly some of our own desires and dreams. If you would like to try this kind of meditation, I recommend watching the video below, in which a well-known monk will guide you through a meditation designed to stimulate some self-awareness:

Video: A Beginner's Meditation

Self-Realization Objectives

Self-realization accomplishes many objectives for us, all of which improve our psychological well-being (Ryff & Keyes, 1995). First, we grow in self-acceptance: In order to act in accordance with our values and dreams, we must fully acknowledge and accept those parts of ourselves. Second, we develop a greater purpose in life as we become more attuned to the things that give us meaning and direction. Third, we end up with closer and more affirming relationships with other people. Fourth, we become more adept at interacting with the world around us, developing a sense of mastery in key domains of life. Finally, we grow in independence as we act on our own beliefs and values, regardless of how much others share those beliefs and values.

Again, what might this look like in practice? I have a friend who transitioned from working in corporate spaces to becoming a therapist and a guide for psychedelic journeys. Along the way, he had to come to terms with who he was not meant to be—a corporate executive—and embrace the side of him that wanted his work to involve building close relationships with people. In making the transition, he found those relationships as well as a newfound energy for his work, because what he was doing was more aligned with his passions. Now he has a vision for his professional self that brings him regular experiences of self-realization.

Journey Toward Self-Realization

So that was my friend’s journey toward more self-realization; what does the journey look like in general? At first, our real self seems like a mirage, a vague concept (Horney, 1950). It may be an experience of ourselves that we only have in a few select moments. We are unlikely to have more experiences like this unless we feel safe showing ourselves to the world and we get positive feedback when we do; this fact alone keeps many people from having much self-realization (Horney, 1950). But as we bravely put our real selves out there and see positive effects, we build momentum for achieving more self-realization. Eventually, that version of ourselves is the one in charge, our new default way of living.

Levels of Self-Realization

One way to assess how much self-realization you are experiencing is to ask yourself how much self-determination is involved in a moment (Ryan & Deci, 2000). A person who is self-realizing is acting on intrinsic, or internally generated, goals, while a person being controlled and directed from the outside is not. While there are obviously limits to how much we can always be the masters of our own time, it can be a helpful measure of our self-realization to ask ourselves, “How often am I doing something that feels really right for me, that lights me up, that feels like an expression of who I really am?”

On another level, we can also ask ourselves, “How can I find more self-expression in the responsibilities that already exist in my life?” Is there space to be more yourself as you move through your daily activities? Can even a chore be an expression of who you are?​

Quotes on Self-Realization

• “That's what every uncomfortable feeling is for—that's what pain is for, what money is for, what everything in the world is for: your self-realization.” — Byron Katie
• “The highest goal of spirituality is Self-realization, but what does that mean? It means to feel your Self as a living reality in this moment, and there is always only this moment.” — Gay Hendricks
• “Self-realization is a process of permanent auto-creation, an elaboration of the new man at the expense of the old.” — Nikolai Berdyaev
• “The deeper the Self-realization of a man, the more he influences the whole universe by his subtle spiritual vibrations, and the less he himself is affected by the phenomenal flux.” — Paramahansa Yogananda
• “Love is the easiest and most effective way to begin our search for self-realization.” — Frederick Lenz
• “Men can starve from a lack of self-realization as much as they can from a lack of bread.” — Richard Wright

Articles Related to Self-Realization​

​Want to learn more? Check out these articles:​

• Needs and Wants: Definition, Difference, & Examples​
• "Who Am I?" + Other Questions to Know Yourself Better
• What Do I Want?! 9 Tips to Figure Out What You Really Want
• ​Peaceful Mind: Definition, Tips & Quotes
• ​Control Your Mind: Techniques, Examples, & Quotes
  
• ​​Self-Transcendence: Definition, Stages, & Psychology​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Books Related to Self-Realization​​

If you’d like to keep learning more, here are a few books that you might be interested in.

• Made Out of Stars: A Journal for Self-Realization
• Self-Realization: A Fascinating Journey Into the Depth of Human Consciousness
• Awaken Your Inner Goddess: Practical Tools for Self-Care, Emotional Healing, and Self-Realization

Final Thoughts on Self-Realization​

Self-realization can happen in any sphere of our lives. It is often considered a privilege to have professional work that gives us opportunities for self-realization (Martela & Pessi, 2018); many people are doing work they do not find personally meaningful, and this makes it harder to stay invested in and energized for one’s job (Thunman, 2012). So it is not always a realistic expectation that our jobs will give us self-realization, and to expect them to is to invite negative feelings in (Petersen, 2011). If your job does not or cannot bring you this satisfaction, I hope there are other things—relationships or hobbies, perhaps—that bring you self-realization.

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References

• Horney, K. (1950). Neurosis and human growth. W. W. Norton.
• Huta, V., & Waterman, A. S. (2014). Eudaimonia and its distinction from hedonia: Developing a classification and terminology for understanding conceptual and operational definitions. Journal of Happiness Studies, 15, 1425–1456.
• Ivtzan, I., Gardner, H. E., Bernard, I., Sekhon, M., & Hart, R. (2013). Wellbeing through self-fulfilment: Examining developmental aspects of self-actualization. The Humanistic Psychologist, 41(2), 119–132.
• Martela, F., & Pessi, A. B. (2018). Significant work is about self-realization and broader purpose: Defining the key dimensions of meaningful work. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 363.
• Maslow, A. H. (1962). Toward a psychology of being. Van Nostrand.
• Miquelon, P., & Vallerand, R. J. (2006). Goal motives, well-being, and physical health: Happiness and self-realization as psychological resources under challenge. Motivation and Emotion, 30, 259–272.
• Petersen, A. (2011). Authentic self-realization and depression. International Sociology, 26(1), 5–24.
• Rusu, M. (2019). The process of self-realization—From the humanist psychology perspective. Psychology, 10(8), 1095–1115.
• Ryan R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78.
• Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2001). On happiness and human potentials: A review of research on hedonic and eudaimonic well-being. Annual Review of Psychology, 52(1), 141–166.
• Ryff, C. D. (2013). Eudaimonic well-being and health: Mapping consequences of self-realization. In A. S. Waterman (Ed.), The best within us: Positive psychology perspectives on eudaimonia (pp. 77–98). American Psychological Association.
• Ryff, C. D., & Keyes, C. L. M. (1995). The structure of psychological well-being revisited. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69(4), 719–727.
• Thunman, E. (2012). Burnout as a social pathology of self-realization. Distinktion: Scandinavian Journal of Social Theory, 13(1), 43–60.
• Waterman, A. S., Schwartz, S. J., Goldbacher, E., Green, H., Miller, C., & Philip, S. (2003). Predicting the subjective experience of intrinsic motivation: The roles of self-determination, the balance of challenges and skills, and self-realization values. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29(11), 1447–1458.

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