Experiential Avoidance: Definition, Examples, & Psychology​

By Kelsey Schultz, Ph.D. Candidate
Learn about experiential avoidance and why it might be something you want to avoid.
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All creatures are wired to avoid negative experiences. We gravitate toward things that make us feel good and away from things that cause us pain and discomfort. Though this is a very natural response, it is possible for this tendency to become problematic or pathological. Whether we like it or not, pain and discomfort are necessary parts of a full life. It is impossible to avoid everything that might hurt us. 
And when we use avoidance as a coping mechanism, we can end up limiting ourselves and missing out on some of the beauty that life has to offer.
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In the field of psychology, this kind of coping mechanism is called experiential avoidance. Let’s talk more about experiential avoidance and the science behind the concept.
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What Is Experiential Avoidance? (A Definition)​

Experiential avoidance is defined as:

“…the phenomenon that occurs when a person is unwilling to remain in contact with particular private experiences (e.g., bodily sensations, emotions, thoughts, memories, images, behavioral predispositions) and takes steps to alter the form or frequency of these experiences or the contexts that occasion them, even when these forms of avoidance cause behavioral harm” (Hayes et al., 1996).

Experiential Avoidance Example

For example, following the loss of a loved one, we might try to avoid thinking about them because acknowledging their absence causes us great pain. We may suppress thoughts of them and avoid anything that might remind us of them. In our attempt to save ourselves from the hurt, we might stop doing the things we once loved or stop spending time with friends or family for fear they might mention our loss. We might also engage in harmful avoidance strategies like substance abuse and self-harm (Chawla & Ostafin, 2007).

This kind of avoidance can ultimately cause us more harm and may result in other forms of psychopathology like depression and anxiety (Kashdan et al., 2006).

Opposite of Experiential Avoidance​

The opposite of experiential avoidance might be openness to experience. Openness to experience refers to the need to enlarge and examine our experiences and the motivation to explore and better understand the world around us (McCrae, 1993).​

Experiential Avoidance Strategies

Experiential avoidance can manifest in many different ways. Some avoidance strategies are more harmful than others, but in the long run, none of them actually help us heal and can cause us more suffering down the line. Here are a few examples of experiential avoidance strategies (Chawla & Ostafin, 2007).

​​Avoiding Certain Places or Situations

This can include avoiding places that remind us of a traumatic event or avoiding social situations where we might feel anxious or uncomfortable. We might also feel afraid of ever leaving our home because we feel that it is the only place we are safe and in control.  

Distraction

Constantly keeping busy or distracting ourselves with activities, work, or entertainment to avoid dealing with troubling emotions. This might look like taking on more responsibilities at work or home, binge-watching television shows, becoming fixated on a new hobby, or exercising excessively.

Substance Use

Alcohol and other drugs tend to be an effective short-term solution for numbing emotions or avoiding facing difficult situations or memories. However, over time, they become less effective and often result in major health complications.

Overeating or Undereating

We might sometimes use food as a way to cope with emotions. We might overindulge in comfort food because it helps us numb our feelings or, on the other end of the spectrum, we might restrict food because it gives us a sense of control.

Procrastination

As a method for avoiding anxiety or fear of failure, we might put off important tasks or responsibilities until later. If you’ve ever procrastinated on something important, you are almost certainly aware that this strategy just generates more anxiety for our future selves.

Isolation

Isolation, or withdrawing from social interactions and relationships, is a common strategy for avoiding potential conflict, rejection, or feelings of vulnerability. The logic is there: if we never engage with anyone, no one can ever hurt us. However, we are by nature a social species and, no matter how comfortable we might be being alone, we need other people in our lives.

Worrying

While seemingly contradictory, excessive rumination, or constant thinking about problems without taking action, can also be a form of avoidance because it gives us a sense of control without facing the issues directly.

Emotional Suppression

Emotional suppression refers to ignoring or suppressing emotions rather than acknowledging and processing them. This is a strategy in which most of us have likely engaged. There is some adaptive value in it in that we aren’t always in an appropriate situation to feel our feelings. For example, if we have a painful thought arise in the middle of giving a presentation, it is probably best for us to try to suppress those feelings until later. However, when we never allow ourselves to experience and process our emotions, we never give ourselves a chance to heal.

Self-Harm

Self-harm, such as cutting, engaging in risky behaviors, or other forms of self-injury, is another strategy we might feel inclined to employ to help distract us from emotional pain or to give us a sense of control.

Self-Deception

Lying to ourselves about our feelings is another common avoidance strategy. We may try to convince ourselves that we are fine and pretend like everything is normal when deep down we know it isn’t.

Examples of Experiential Avoidance

As mentioned, there are many strategies we might employ. We might select different strategies at different times to manage different experiences. That is, there may be some strategies that we consistently employ to manage feelings of inadequacy or insecurity and there may be others that we employ to manage more acutely painful feelings like the end of a relationship or the loss of a loved one. Here are a couple of examples of what experiential avoidance might look like:
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  • There is a man named Sam who receives a letter from his estranged brother. He stares at the envelope and is overcome by memories of bitter arguments and unresolved conflicts that he had long suppressed. He relives all the hurt those arguments caused and the guilt he felt for his part in them. These are unpleasant feelings so, rather than engage with them, he places the letter in a drawer and tries to forget about it. He attempts to keep himself distracted with work and his hobbies but can’t get rid of the knot in his stomach. His friends notice that he has started acting strangely. He declines their invitations to get together regularly, drinks more than he used to, and always seems to be busy with something. When they ask him about his behavior he says that everything is fine and swiftly changes the topic.​  
  • Jennifer is a 28-year-old perfectionist with a penchant for being hard on herself. She just never quite feels like she is enough. She never feels smart enough or pretty enough. She doesn’t feel like she is a good enough friend or a hard enough worker and no matter what she does, she always finds something wrong with it. This mindset saddles Jennifer with a feeling of intense anxiety every time she leaves the house. Over the years, she has started leaving the house less and less. She rarely sees her friends, typically opts to work from home, and has all her groceries delivered. Part of her knows that she is missing out, but she feels safe at home, so home is where she stays.

Experiential Avoidance Questionnaire

In 2004 a questionnaire was developed to help measure experiential avoidance (Hayes et al., 2004). This questionnaire is referred to as the Acceptance and Action Questionnaire. Each of the questions is given a score ranging from 1 (Never True) to 7 (Always True). Using these scores, researchers and clinicians can arrive at a more objective measure of the extent to which someone shows experiential avoidance.

Psychology of Experiential Avoidance​

As previously mentioned, experiential avoidance is a common coping mechanism involving the deliberate effort to control or escape from unwanted thoughts, feelings, and sensations (Kashdan et al., 2006). In some contexts, this coping strategy is adaptive. That is, there are times when suppressing negative thoughts or feelings is a good choice. For example, if you are about to give a big speech, it will likely be helpful to suppress any feelings of doubt or fear you may have.

However, this strategy can become pathological when it interferes with living in a way that is true to yourself and limits progress toward personal growth and meaningful life goals. In fact, some researchers speculate that experiential avoidance may be the root of some psychopathologies (Chawla & Ostafin, 2007).

Experiential Avoidance Outcomes

This theory is based in part on the observation that experiential avoidance can make things much worse in the long run and is associated with negative psychological outcomes (Chawla & Ostafin, 2007). For example, staying home to avoid anxiety can increase the anxiety associated with leaving and ultimately result in an agoraphobic-type lifestyle. This strategy can also worsen other psychological maladies by limiting your ability to adapt to inevitable changes (Chawla & Ostafin, 2007).

Additionally, due to the power of negative reinforcement, experiential avoidance can easily get out of hand (Kashdan et al., 2006). Negative reinforcement is a component of classical conditioning and refers to the drive to repeat a behavior that led to the absence of something negative. In other words, when we suppress our unpleasant thoughts and feelings, we feel relief, and this feeling of relief encourages us to continue suppressing unpleasant thoughts and feelings. Over time, experiential avoidance becomes a natural response to unpleasantness, making it harder to choose to sit with those thoughts and feelings.

Experiential Avoidance and Trauma

It is perhaps unsurprising that there is a relationship between experiential avoidance and trauma. Traumatic experiences are painful by nature and many of those who have experienced trauma often find it necessary to avoid those painful thoughts and feelings in order to be able to function in their day-to-day lives. However, it is possible that the relationship between trauma and experiential avoidance is deeper than that. Some research suggests that experiential avoidance may worsen the after-effects of a traumatic experience and contribute to the development of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

For example, one study found that people with an experientially avoidant coping style were more likely to develop PTSD than those who had a more forgiveness-based coping style (Orcutt, Pickett, & Pope, 2005).

Another study examining both undergraduate students who experienced a traumatic or distressing life event and veterans yielded similar results (Plumb et al., 2004). The researchers found that experiential avoidance was positively related to greater levels of distress, PTSD symptom severity, and depression suggesting that people who use experiential avoidance as a coping style are more likely to experience impaired psychological functioning.

Articles Related to Experiential Avoidance​

​Want to learn more? Check out these articles:

Books Related to Experiential Avoidance​

If you’d like to keep learning more, here are a few books that you might be interested in.

Final Thoughts on Experiential Avoidance

Experiential avoidance is a natural response to unpleasant or painful thoughts and feelings. However, research shows that it is neither effective nor healthy in the long run. Though there are certainly times in which it is an adaptive strategy, overall the science suggests that it is important for us to feel our feelings, to actually process our thoughts and emotions, no matter how unpleasant they may be. For more on experiential avoidance, check out this video:​

Video: Experiential Avoidance

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