Tolerate Feeling Rejected

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What is Rejection Tolerance?

Rejection refers to the pain we experience when we feel rejected by others in some way. Feeling rejected is a natural response when we are excluded. Rejection Tolerance refers to how adaptively (effectively) we respond to feeling rejected by people in our lives.

Why is it important to build this skill?

When we are rejection tolerant, we don’t worry so much about feeling rejected or perceive that others actions are intended to make us feel rejected. Rather, we understand that other people have their own motivations they rarely intend to purposely reject us. This enables us to reduce worry about being rejected and improve our responses to feeling rejected. We don’t let other people’s opinions or behaviors affect us as much and we maintain our self-esteem even when are feeling rejected. We feel better about ourselves and the people around us.

Activities to develop this skill:

Emotional processing

In addition to creating new neural pathways that strengthen experience of positive emotion, we also need to work on stopping the unhealthy processes that generate negative emotion. In this emotion activity, you learn emotion skills to stop unhealthy emotional processes like feeling rejected.

Assertiveness

For this activity, you are going to reflect a bit on your interpersonal style to make sure that you are relating to others in ways that are fair to you. In this emotion activity, you learn the emotion skill, assertiveness, to better tolerate rejection.

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