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​Tolerate Feeling Rejected

By Tchiki Davis, MA, PhD
Tolerate feeling rejected
​*This page may include affiliate links; that means I earn from qualifying purchases of products.

What is Rejection Tolerance?

Rejection refers to the pain we experience when we feel rejected by others in some way. Feeling rejected is a natural response when we are excluded. Rejection Tolerance refers to how adaptively (effectively) we respond to feeling rejected by people in our lives.

Why is it important to build this skill?

When we are rejection tolerant, we don’t worry so much about feeling rejected or perceive that others actions are intended to make us feel rejected. Rather, we understand that other people have their own motivations they rarely intend to purposely reject us. This enables us to reduce worry about being rejected and improve our responses to feeling rejected. We don’t let other people’s opinions or behaviors affect us as much and we maintain our self-esteem even when are feeling rejected. We feel better about ourselves and the people around us.
Activity to stop feeling rejected
​Activities to develop this skill:
Emotional processing
Activity to stop feeling rejected
In addition to creating new neural pathways that strengthen experience of positive emotion, we also need to work on stopping the unhealthy processes that generate negative emotion. In this emotion activity, you learn emotion skills to stop unhealthy emotional processes like feeling rejected.
Assertiveness
Activity to stop feeling rejected
For this activity, you are going to reflect a bit on your interpersonal style to make sure that you are relating to others in ways that are fair to you. In this emotion activity, you learn the emotion skill, assertiveness, to better tolerate rejection.

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About Dr. Tchiki Davis
Dr. Davis is founder of The Berkeley Well-Being Institute. After getting her PhD in psychology at Berkeley, she started creating online content & programs to boost well-being—some of these have reached more than a million people. As author of Outsmart Your Smartphone, and contributor to Psychology Today, The Greater Good Science Center, and Shine Text, Dr. Davis aims to share her insights on happiness & health with people all across the world. Learn more about Dr. Davis.
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