Assertiveness​ Activity

By Tchiki Davis, MA, PhD
Do you have a hard time standing up for yourself? Do you struggle to say "no"? Then try this assertiveness activity to help you practice being more assertive.
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It is important to be there for other people, to be empathetic, and to listen actively. But it is also important that you also know how to stand up for yourself. Happiness, as it turns out, requires a careful balance between helping others meet their needs and making sure that your own needs are getting met.

Activity: Assertiveness

In this activity, you are going to reflect a bit on your interpersonal style to make sure that you are relating to others in ways that are fair to you. Please answer the questions below to better understand your assertiveness style.
    Add up your scores by adding the numbers next to your responses. Low scores indicate more assertiveness.
    Now, make a plan for how to change these behaviors. For example, if you have a hard time saying no, come up with a plan for one thing that you will say “NO” to in the future. Make sure to be detailed and specific. Who will be asking you? What will you say? What will you do if they keep pushing? Have an action plan that you will be able to stick to. 
    Note. Submitting your responses enables us to better understand how people use assertiveness. If you want to keep your responses, you'll have to save to PDF or print this page. Thanks!

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About Dr. Tchiki Davis
Dr. Davis is founder of The Berkeley Well-Being Institute. After getting her PhD in psychology at Berkeley, she started creating online content & programs to boost well-being—some of these have reached more than a million people. As author of Outsmart Your Smartphone, and contributor to Psychology Today, The Greater Good Science Center, and Shine Text, Dr. Davis aims to share her insights on happiness & health with people all across the world. Learn more about Dr. Davis.
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