Self-Perception: Definition, Theory, & Questions

By Charlie Huntington, M. A., Ph.D. Candidate
​Reviewed by Tchiki Davis, M.A., Ph.D.
Self-perception is how we see ourselves – and we don’t see ourselves exactly as we truly are. Read on to learn about how the theory of self-perception and how we can come to see ourselves more accurately.
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Do you remember middle school? Maybe, like me, you’d rather not remember it, but I am sure that you do. Middle school is when I became suddenly, painfully aware of how I moved through the world – what my gait and posture looked like, how my voice sounded, even how I smelled. It was almost like stepping through the school’s front doors for the first time flipped a genetic switch inside me, and now I was besieged by questions about who I was and how other people saw me.
How I see myself is a constantly evolving aspect of who I am. In other words, my self-perception is always changing – it is subject to the whims of how I feel on a given day, what is going on around me, and the last thing somebody said to me. For people with certain mental health disorders, self-perception is a constantly difficult and painful process; for all of us, it can range from gratifying to utterly humiliating. Why is this so? Let’s learn about the science behind self-perception, so we can see ourselves in as loving and effective a way as possible.
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What Is Self-Perception? (A Definition)

Self-perception is the process of observing and interpreting one’s own behaviors, thoughts, and feelings, and using those observations and interpretations to define oneself (Robak, 2001). It is thought that since we cannot know certain things about ourselves for certain, we look to our own behaviors to tell us what our beliefs and attitudes are (Bem, 1972).
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For example, many people have difficulty identifying what exactly they are feeling in any given situation. Lacking that self-awareness, they might try to infer their emotional state from their actions. For example, if a friend tells me that she was recently promoted, I might notice that I make excuses to leave the room or avoid interacting with her. While I don’t know that I am jealous of her success, I might reasonably infer from my avoidant behaviors that I’m experiencing some kind of negative feeling toward her.

Opposite of Self-Perception

The opposite of self-perception is to ignore one’s behaviors, emotions, and feelings, or to refuse to reflect upon those actions. As noted above, significant difficulty in accurately tracking or reflecting on one’s own actions is frequently related to mental health challenges. Not having a stable sense of self is generally very upsetting for people – kind of like being on stormy seas without a sail, a paddle, or an anchor. As a result, much of psychotherapy revolves around helping people develop effective self-perception skills.

Why Self-Perception Is Important

We derive so much of our sense of self from our self-perception. Self-perception is important because, as noted above, many people have a hard time identifying their feelings and thoughts, but behaviors are concrete and obvious manifestations of something within us – therefore, we can use them to make judgments about what’s really going on inside (Bem, 1972). Think of the saying, “actions speak louder than words.” We seem to intuitively trust our own actions to reflect who we are better than our thoughts or feelings (Bem, 1972).
 
This is not to say that our self-perceptions are always accurate. I used to perceive myself to be a “person who just doesn’t get angry” because I virtually never demonstrated anger in my actions. Over time, I came to realize that while I never acted out of clear anger, I did engage in passive-aggressive behaviors, and I carried plenty of resentment. I was an angry person – I just did not give myself permission to act in traditionally angry ways. This allowed me to continue to perceive myself as “not angry.”
 
Self-perception is especially important if we choose to use it as a way to understand mental health challenges. One way to look at psychological disorders is that certain kinds of self-perceptions are more harmful of less effective than others (Yee & Bailenson, 2007). For example, when I forget to call a friend at the time we agreed to talk, whether I perceive this as a fixed (“I’m a forgetful person who always lets people down”) versus changeable trait (“Next time I really should set myself a reminder – that usually helps me avoid a situation like this”) will powerfully influence the emotions I feel after making that mistake. The first thought is likely to lead to feelings of shame or sadness, while the second is a more adaptive thought that can help minimize my negative feelings.

Self-Perception Theory

Self-perception theory was created by the psychologist Daryl Bem (1967) and describes the pattern we have already been discussing: that we draw conclusions about what we’re thinking and feeling by observing and reflecting on our own behaviors.

Bem (1972) observed that our self-perception changes from one circumstance or experience to another. I cannot think of a clearer example of this than when people visit their parents or other family members. You might see yourself as an effective and decisive leader of your family and team at work, but the same actions start to seem controlling to you when you are around your younger siblings, who always complained that you bossed them around when you were kids.

For my part, I know that my self-perception changes a lot based on my mood. When I am experiencing a lot of self-doubt, I hear my own voice as high-pitched and uncertain; when I am feeling self-confident, it sounds deeper and steadier to me. Other people have told me that they can’t hear a difference, though.

It is not like we start fresh perceiving ourselves in each moment. Our self-perceptions are also very much based in who we already believe ourselves to be. We also perceive ourselves in ways that affirm that preexisting sense of self (Taylor & Brown, 1988). This kind of biased self-perception takes three forms (Taylor & Brown, 1988):
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1)    Unrealistically positive self-regard. Seeing ourselves through rose-colored glasses helps us preserve the sense that we are good people (e.g., “I called my annoying great-aunt because I love her, not because I felt guilty for avoiding the call.”). It can be very threatening when our actions look bad, so we may try very hard to perceive them through a positive lens (e.g., “Why isn’t he grateful that I confessed right away about lying to him instead of denying it? Other people wouldn’t be as honest as me.”). There is plenty of research to suggest that we continually perceive ourselves more positively than we perceive others for just this reason (John & Robins, 1994).

2)    Illusions of control. We may defend our actions by retroactively assigning a clear, positive purpose for doing them (e.g., “I chose not to go to the party because I did want not to risk an accident in that snowstorm.”). We may also give ourselves credit for outcomes that were not actually in our control.

3)    Unrealistic optimism. We may be overly optimistic about our own prospects because it is threatening to admit otherwise. For example, when I contemplate applying for a prestigious research grant, I may choose to focus on the strengths of my professional training, rather than thinking about how there are aspects of my resume that could stand to be improved.

Are these biases or self-deceptions a bad thing? More on that in a moment, but for now, let’s just say that some self-deception may be helpful (John & Robins, 1994).

To understand why self-perception theory is important, you can also watch this video contrasting it with another important theory (cognitive dissonance) that seeks to explain how we manage our sense of self:

Video: Self Perception Theory (vs Cognitive Dissonance) + Examples​

Self-Image vs Self-Perception

Self-perception and self-image reciprocally influence each other (Lewicki, 1983). Our self-image, in some senses, is the long-lasting result or accumulation of many self-perceptions over time. These perceptions are highly idiosyncratic – people range from having incredibly positive self-regard (as in narcissistic personality disorder) to incredibly negative self-regard (such as in people who are severely depressed) (John & Robins, 1994).

Self-Perception vs Other-Perception

We perceive others in much the same way we perceive ourselves – by using their outsides (the behaviors they engage in, in a specific context) to infer their insides (their attitudes, thoughts, and feelings) (Bem, 1972).​

How we perceive others is driven in large by how we perceive ourselves and our own self-image. Whatever aspects of myself I think are most important are the things I am most likely to perceive in others (Lewicki, 1983). I know this to be true for myself; whatever personal growth work I happen to be doing in a particular moment causes me to perceive other people through that same lens.

At the same time, we hold ourselves and other people to different standards. For example, we tend to view other peoples’ behavior in moral terms more than in terms of competence, while we view our own behavior more in terms of competence than in terms of morality (Wojciszke, 2005). For example, I might perceive a friend’s decision not to tell their romantic partner something as a moral failing of thiers, but I might excuse myself for doing the same thing because I was making a wise decision to protect my partner’s peace of mind.

Self-Perception Questions

We can draw inspiration for self-perception questions from a couple self-perception assessments developed by psychologists (Goñi et al., 2011). Here are some good questions to ask yourself to reflect upon your own self-perception process:
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  • Do I see myself as a decent, honest person?
  • Am I a person of my word?
  • Do I need people’s approval to do things?
  • Am I proud of what I am doing these days?
  • Do I see myself as more or less emotional than other people?
  • Does life just happen to me, or am I more in control of my life?
  • Are my emotions easy to change or do they stick around?
  • Am I a person who achieves the goals I set for myself?

Your answer to each of these statements reflects a general self-perception that you have. You might consider how that general perception might impact your self-perception in general. For example, if you see yourself as more emotional than other people, do you judge yourself for that? Does that self-perception lead you to feel good about yourself? Bad about yourself? 

Self-Perception vs Self-Awareness

Self-perception is our interpretation of ourselves based on our self-awareness. We can only perceive the things of which we are aware. In this way, self-awareness is a precondition for self-perception.

Self-Perception vs Reality

Our self-perception is just “the world as we perceive it”. In this sense, it is definitely not reality. What we might think of as reality is really just our reading of the situation: reality is filtered through the lens of self-perception.​

And that, I will try to convince you, is as much a good as a bad thing. When we face challenges in life, psychological research tells us that maintaining a positive outlook, even when it does not align fully with reality, helps us persevere (Carver & Scheier, 2002). Instead of seeing reality as it is, psychologists believe that we all have a bias toward self-perceptions that boost our egos and present our behaviors in the best possible moral light (Paulhus & John 1998). For example, we tend to perceive ourselves as more socially and intellectually capable than we actually are, and we tend to downplay our socially deviant behaviors and give more attention to the behaviors that we can see as morally upstanding.

This may sound like we are deluding ourselves, and in fact we are, but to a positive end. Simply put, we seem to do better – try harder, stay positive, and embrace challenges – when we put this positive gloss on things (Carver & Scheier, 2002).

Articles Related to Self-Perception

​Want to learn more? Check out these articles:

Books Related to Self-Perception

If you’d like to keep learning more, here are a few books that you might be interested in.

Final Thoughts on Self-Perception

I hope you have enjoyed this opportunity to reflect on how you perceive yourself. There is nothing that we necessarily need to change in our self-perceptions. Just becoming more aware of our patterns – so that we might be able to question them at key moments – can unlock self-growth (Yee & Bailenson, 2007). Please be gentle with yourself if you notice that you have patterns of unrealistic or unduly negative self-perceptions – these are things all humans do, and simply noticing them may help you naturally change your self-perception over time.

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