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​Non-Judgement

What is non-judgment? Why is it important to practice emotional non-judgment? And how do you become a non-judgmental person?
By Tchiki Davis, MA, PhD
Emotional skills: Non-judgement
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What is non-judgement?

Experiential non-judgment is defined as a willingness to remain in contact with aversive experiences or negative emotions [1]. When we have emotional judgments, these are secondary (or meta-emotional) thoughts about the original experience.

​For example, you may get angry about something and then start feeling guilty for feeling angry. This is how emotional judgment can lead to a cascade of negative emotions. When you are non-judgemental, you unconditionally accept your emotions and don’t judge yourself for having those emotions.

What does it mean to be nonjudgmental?

Non-judgment doesn't mean that we never make judgments. It's human nature to evaluate things and determine whether they are positive negative or neutral. What is problematic for our well-being is when we hold onto those judgments.

In order to let go of our judgements, we need to first be aware of what they are. Once we identify our judgments, we can actively let them go, perhaps by imagining them floating away like clouds. When we learn to stop judging our experiences, we can just be. We are truly present in the moment and can enjoy it more.

Video: Non-judgment in mindfulness

Why is it important to practice non-judgement?

It's important to remember that our emotions evolved over many generations to help us survive and thrive. That means all emotions serve important functions. In fact, negative emotions have benefits. For example, sadness can help us get social support and anger can help us accomplish things that improve our situation. 

When we judge these emotions, we only suppress and repress them, making it more difficult for them to their jobs. In contrast, the ability to accept your emotions and not make negative judgments about yourself or your feelings prevents a lot of excess negative emotions from emerging. 
Activity to stop feeling rejected

How to practice non-judgment

Just like all emotional skills, non-judgment is a skill that can be developed and improved over time. Here are some ways to build your non-judgment skills:
  • Self-awareness. Sometimes we can judge ourselves and others without realizing it. That's why improving our self-awarenss can be instrumental in uncovering judgments.
  • Mindfulness. Mindfulness practice is often thought to be the combination of awareness and acceptance (non-judgment). That's why practicing mindfulness can be a good way to improve your non-judgment skills. 
  • Positive thinking. Often we are judgmental when we are overly focused on the negative things in life. By cultivating our ability to pay attention to the positive things, we may be able to improve our ability to be non-judgmental.
​Activities to develop emotional non-judgment
Mindfulness
Activity to develop non-judgement
In this activity, you do a short mindfulness meditation.
Positive Attention
Activity to develop non-judgement
In this activity, you practice paying attention to the positive things in your life to strengthen your ability to focus on these things.

Here's a non-judgement mindfulness meditation

References

  1. Shallcross, A. J., Troy, A. S., Boland, M., & Mauss, I. B. (2010). Let it be: Accepting negative emotional experiences predicts decreased negative affect and depressive symptoms. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 48(9), 921-929. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2010.05.025

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About Dr. Tchiki Davis
Dr. Davis is founder of The Berkeley Well-Being Institute. After getting her PhD in psychology at Berkeley, she started creating online content & programs to boost well-being—some of these have reached more than a million people. As author of Outsmart Your Smartphone, and contributor to Psychology Today, The Greater Good Science Center, and Shine Text, Dr. Davis aims to share her insights on happiness & health with people all across the world. Learn more about Dr. Davis.
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