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Getting Out of Your Head: Definition & How to Do It

By Zamfira Parincu, BA, Researcher
​
Reviewed by Tchiki Davis, M.A., Ph.D.
What does it mean to be in your head? Learn more about why it is important to get out of your head and how you can do it to reconnect with your body.
Sadness: Definition, Causes, & Related Emotions
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The human mind can solve almost any type of problem, and our creativity can push the boundaries of what’s possible. But what happens when problem-solving or creativity run wild in our minds?
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We are so good at identifying problems and imagining scenarios that sometimes it is hard to stop. Do you ever get into imaginary arguments with yourself in an attempt to find answers? 
Or do you lose sleep reliving an embarrassing moment over and over again? These examples may sound familiar to you if you get lost in your head quite often. Although there are psychological explanations for why you might be in your head, such as a desire to avoid suffering or get closure, being too much in your head is likely making your life worse.
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What Does It Mean to Be In Your Head? (A Definition)

To be in your head usually means overthinking or overanalyzing a situation or behavior, constantly dwelling on the same thing over and over until your mind feels super cluttered.

Sometimes, we all get stuck in our heads, but some of us do so more than others. Being introspective and reflective are good qualities and skills to possess. These are not only useful tools for finding ourselves in our hectic modern lives, but they were crucial throughout history as well. For example, our ability to “mind-wander” was an evolutionary achievement that allowed us to learn, reason, and plan (Killingsworth & Gilbert, 2010). However, it might have come with a cost.

If you are too much in your head, it can have negative effects on your mental and physical health. Your mind can “wander” to the future and you might worry about things that can possibly happen, or it can “wander” to the past and replay the bad or cringe events that happened previously.

When you’re in your head, you might wonder if your friend secretly hates you because it took them more than a few hours to answer your text. You might constantly ask yourself why you were passed over for a promotion, why you didn’t get credit for good work, or if the pain you suddenly feel in your arm is going to put you in the hospital.

One study clearly shows that you’re a lot less likely to feel happy if you’re in your head. In the study, participants were asked at random times what they were doing, whether they were thinking about a task or not, and how happy/unhappy they were. Researchers concluded that “a human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind” (p. 932; Killingsworth & Gilbert, 2010). They also point out that although our human capacity to think about what’s not happening right now served us well at some point, it came at an emotional cost (Killingsworth & Gilbert, 2010). 

When it comes to thinking too much—about our feelings, past, or hopes—philosopher Alain de Botton argues that perhaps we are trying to hide other important aspects of our lives. He urges us to tell ourselves the truth and to embrace self-knowledge.

You can watch the full video below to learn more:

Video: The Dangers of Thinking Too Much; And Thinking Too Little

What Does It Mean to Get Out of Your Head? (A Definition)

If being in your head means overthinking or overanalyzing a situation, getting out of your head means being present in the moment and letting go of the unhelpful thoughts. If you get out of your head, it’s more likely that you’ll be happier than before.

Rumination, overthinking, or overanalyzing actually go hand in hand with depression and anxiety. Rumination, or constantly having the same thoughts, is a well-established risk factor for depression and anxiety. For example, those who engage in this type of behavior have increased depressive symptoms and are more at risk for the onset of major depressive disorder and anxiety symptoms (Harrington & Blankenship, 2002; Nolen-Hoeksema, 2000).

The running script of being too much in your head may sound like “What if I’m not good enough?” or “Why is this happening to me?”. If you want to stop replaying the same thoughts over and over again, you may need to:
  • Accept what you can’t control. Practice radical acceptance and notice how it liberates you from fighting reality and your mind. 
  • Take a step back from your thoughts. It’s important to make the distinction between your thoughts and you. You are not your thoughts. Similar to what the saying can’t see the forest for the trees is aiming at, you can take a step back and notice what’s happening. Then, you can freely choose how to respond, rather than just reacting to your thoughts.
  • Be present. Are your thoughts about the present moment, or do they focus on something that happened in the past? Remind yourself that the past cannot be changed. If you’d like, you can try taking a few deep breaths to ground yourself or do a quick meditation.

What Does Psychology Say About Getting Out of Your Head?

Our view of the world is typically tilted toward the negative. Because of our negativity bias, it’s much easier to go from good to bad than from bad to good. In a series of experiments about how people think, social psychologist Alison Ledgerwood found that once we think about something as a loss, most of us tend to keep a loss mindframe and resist change. Alison Ledgerwood argues that we have to put in the effort and be mindful to see the upside in things. If you’d like to learn more about this topic and how you can get out of your head, you can watch the TEDx Talk below:

Video: Getting Stuck in the Negatives (And How to Get Unstuck)

How to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body

​The mind-body connection has been a topic of conversation for many years. Researchers keep showing that anxiety and depression have a negative impact on our bodies—for example, they can contribute to insomnia, high blood pressure, a decrease in immunity, gastrointestinal issues, and heart problems (Alberts et al., 2013). Considering that being in your head, overthinking, and rumination are associated with anxiety and depression, it’s important to learn how to get out of your head and into your body. 

There is a fine line between being introspective and constantly ruminating. Here are a few suggestions to get you started in reconnecting with your body:
  • Be aware of what’s happening. If you find yourself too much in your head, it’s important to be mindful of when it happens and what the triggers are. For example, you could be overthinking more about the future after an important presentation at work or after a meeting with your boss. The first step to getting better is always acknowledging what’s happening and being mindful of the situations that trigger this reaction.
  • Meditate. Meditation has many benefits for depression, anxiety, concentration, and even cognitive performance. Meditation can help you get out of your head and into your body because it works to bring the focus into the present moment and into your body. If you’re just starting, you might notice your mind wandering (even to the things you were doing before), but that’s ok. Just observe the wandering in a non-judgmental way and pull it back to your focus. The more you practice, the better it gets. There are many meditations focused on the mind-body connection, such as body scans or moving meditation, and it doesn’t matter which one you choose; just use what works for you. 
  • Learn how to breathe. Sometimes, anxiety makes us feel out of breath, so what better way to combat it than learning how to use breathing as an exercise to relieve stress? Breath focus is commonly used to increase relaxation, and recent studies show it can also benefit depression, stress, and mental health (Seppala et al., 2020), and it can even reduce PTSD symptoms in US military veterans (Seppala et al., 2014).​
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  • Write in a journal. Daily journaling has been highly recommended lately as a way to manage stress and combat anxious thoughts. When you write, you actually work through your thoughts, what happened throughout the day, or what you’re ruminating over. Studies actually show that journaling reduces physical symptoms, health problems, anxiety, and increases well-being (Smyth et al., 2018; LaClaire, 2008). There are many types of journals and prompts to use, so it’s important to find out which one works best for you.
  • Challenge your thoughts. You are not your brain or your thoughts. This may sound strange, but you don’t actually have to believe everything your mind thinks. You are a witness of your thoughts, but you are not them. If you’d like, you can write down your thoughts and ask yourself if there’s any evidence to support your thinking process or to challenge it. Most likely, you’ll notice thoughts that are not logical, probable, or helpful. For example, is your friend secretly hating you, or is she just overwhelmed with work today?
  • Get some exercise. Moving your body has many mental and physical health benefits, and you don’t even need to do a full workout to reap all the benefits. You can do a quick dance, go on a short walk around the block, or take the stairs—you will still get the feel-good, happiness-boosting hormones, like endorphins, to help you with your mood.
  • Work on improving your self-esteem. Lack of self-esteem is actually associated with an increase in rumination, which also predicts depression (Kuster et al., 2012). Check out this article if you’re curious about how to be more confident.
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Get Out of Your Head Discussion Questions

Getting out of your head needs constant practice. You can start by asking yourself some of these questions to get a better idea of how your mind might be overthinking some scenarios. You can also write down these questions in a journal or on a piece of paper to help you track your thought patterns. Ask yourself:
  • How likely is it that this will happen? How can you know? Did this happen before?
  • If the bad scenario does happen, what will make it less impactful to you? Is there a way to turn this negative experience into a positive one?
  • How can you transform the obstacle into an opportunity? 
  • Can this experience teach you a skill that might be used in a different area of your life?
  • Is there something you can let go of?
  • What does your anxiety sound, look, and feel like? Does it remind you of someone?
  • What activities make you calm and feel good in your body?
  • How do you feel when you’re too much in your head? How does your body feel (shoulders, stomach, chest), how does your head feel?
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Getting Out of Your Head Quotes

  • "You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."― Marcus Aurelius
  • “Relax, allow the mind to become empty, and surprise yourself with the great treasure that begins to flow from your soul.” ― Paulo Coelho
  • “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” ― Marcus Aurelius
  • "Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. Joy follows a pure thought like a shadow that never leaves." ― Unknown
  • “If you want power, control the narrative in other people’s heads. If you seek happiness, control the narrative in your own head. " ― Unknown

Articles Related to Getting Out of Your Head

Here are some more articles to read that can help you get out of your head:​
  • ​How to Live in the Moment: 14 Tips for Staying Present
  • Overthinking: Definition, Causes, & How to Stop
  • Rumination: Definition, Examples, and How to Stop​

Books on Getting Out of Your Head

Want to keep learning how to get our of your head? Check out these books:
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  • Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts by Jennie Allen
  • The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk
  • Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
  • The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday
  • Rewire: Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits, Overcome Addictions, Conquer Self-Destructive Behavior by Richard O'Connor
  • Clear Your Mind by Steven Schuster
  • Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It by Ethan Kross
  • Don't Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, and Bring More Joy to Your Life by Anne Bogel
  • Stop Overthinking: 23 Techniques to Relieve Stress, Stop Negative Spirals, Declutter Your Mind, and Focus on the Present by Nick Trenton
  • How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life by Massimo Pigliucci

Final Thoughts on Getting Out of Your Head

Being too much in your head has negative consequences for your mental and physical health, so breaking the negative thinking patterns is important. There are a few ways you can get out of your head, so it’s up to you to see which one works best.

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References

  • Alberts, N. M., Hadjistavropoulos, H. D., Jones, S. L., & Sharpe, D. (2013). The Short Health Anxiety Inventory: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 27(1), 68-78.
  • Harrington, J. A., & Blankenship, V. (2002). Ruminative thoughts and their relation to depression and anxiety 1. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 32(3), 465-485.
  • Killingsworth, M. A., & Gilbert, D. T. (2010). A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Science, 330(6006), 932-932.
  • Kuster, F., Orth, U., & Meier, L. L. (2012). Rumination mediates the prospective effect of low self-esteem on depression: A five-wave longitudinal study. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 38(6), 747-759.
  • LaClaire, A. (2008). The influence of journaling on the reduction of physical symptoms, health problems, and anxiety in women (Doctoral dissertation, Adler School of Professional Psychology).
  • Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2000). The role of rumination in depressive disorders and mixed anxiety/depressive symptoms. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 109(3), 504–511.
  • Seppälä, E. M., Bradley, C., Moeller, J., Harouni, L., Nandamudi, D., & Brackett, M. A. (2020). Promoting mental health and psychological thriving in university students: a randomized controlled trial of three well-being interventions. Frontiers in psychiatry, 11, 590.
  • Seppälä, E. M., Nitschke, J. B., Tudorascu, D. L., Hayes, A., Goldstein, M. R., Nguyen, D. T., ... & Davidson, R. J. (2014). Breathing‐based meditation decreases posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms in US Military veterans: A randomized controlled longitudinal study. Journal of traumatic stress, 27(4), 397-405.
  • Smyth, J. M., Johnson, J. A., Auer, B. J., Lehman, E., Talamo, G., & Sciamanna, C. N. (2018). Online positive affect journaling in the improvement of mental distress and well-being in general medical patients with elevated anxiety symptoms: A preliminary randomized controlled trial. JMIR mental health, 5(4), e11290.​
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