Self Confidence: What Is Self Confidence and How Do You Build It?

What is self-confidence?

Self confidence is when we feel good about ourselves and who we are — we have positive outlook on ourselves. Self confidence arises from the general beliefs we have about ourselves being good, worthwhile human beings. For example, you may feel that, deep down, you are deserving of being treated kindly by others and having success in your life pursuits. These positive self beliefs are integral to your independent functioning and affect how you relate to others. ​

Why is it important to be self-confident?

Having self confidence helps guide your behavior in ways that enable you to live a more supportive, fulfilling life. When you feel badly about yourself, you unconsciously create situations that prove you right — you're no good after all — and you decrease the likelihood that you will achieve the happiness that you seek.

For example, you may feel like you are not good enough for a good relationship, a good job, or financial stability, so you stop pursuing those goals with the confidence that is required to reach them. You accidentally let your negative self-concept limit the amount of happiness you can experience. This is why working on improving your self confidence is so important. So, how do you build self confidence?

How to build self-confidence

Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem.

Self-efficacy is about how much we believe we can mastering skills and achieve our goals. Usually we build this skill and become more confident in this way by actually pursuing goals, putting in hard work, and discovering that we can indeed succeed even in the face of challenges. We just have to practice. 

Self-esteem is the more general sense that we are good, worthwhile human beings. We can build our confidence in this way be focusing on what is good about us, building self-compassion, and practicing acceptance.

Strategies for building self-confidence

1. Practice self-compassion

We are often our own worst critics. By developing self-compassion, we learn how to treat ourselves more kindly. As a result, we feel better and can develop more confidence.

Growth Mindset for Happiness

It turns out that we don’t just find happiness. Happiness, just like other skills, must be learned. By building a growth mindset, you enhance your belief that you are able to  increase your happiness. You build confidence as a result.

Scheduling Time for Happiness

There is no “right” amount of time to spend on your happiness. What is important is that you set goals and stick to them. In this activity, you learn to schedule time for practicing your happiness skills.

Self-Compassion

No one meets all of their goals all of the time. The ability to accept yourself, non-judgmentally, is key to having positive self-views. In this activity, you practice self-compassion to boost self-views.

Imagine Your Best Self

When we imagine things, our brains experience them as if they are real. So when you imagine your best self, your brain can begin to build pathways that help you develop positive views about yourself.

Learn about other skills >>

Berkeley Well Being Institute