Is Your Smartphone Hurting Your Relationships?We now know that our phones can pull us away from each other, even harming our relationships. So here are six science-backed ways to manage your smartphone use and stay connected.
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Headlines tell us that “smartphones have destroyed a generation,” and “social media is ripping apart society.” But what does the research say?
After spending the last year researching and writing my new book, Outsmart Your Smartphone: Conscious Tech Habits for Finding Happiness, Balance, and Connection IRL, I've learned that indeed, young people who use electronic devices more tend to experience greater depression and worse moods. And smartphones seem to be particularly problematic for relationships, leading to social interactions that are lower-quality and less empathic. But there are a wide range of ways to use a smartphone — from taking photos with your friends to envious Facebook stalking — and only some are detrimental. How do you keep your own phone from harming your connection to others? These research-backed strategies can help protect your relationships in a variety of social situations. Are You a Therapist, Coach, or Wellness Entrepreneur?
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4. Don’t let your smartphone stop you from socializing with strangers.A growing body of research suggests that even seemingly trivial interactions with strangers — like chatting with a barista or cashier — play a big role in how socially connected we feel. How might smartphones affect these interactions? Well, to the extent that we are on our smartphones instead of having casual interactions with others, we miss out on opportunities to connect.
In one study, researchers found that having a smartphone on hand led people who needed directions to primarily rely on the phone and not ask others for help. As a result of not interacting with others, the people with smartphones felt less socially connected and thus worse overall, even if they got to their destination faster. This suggests that smartphones can eliminate social interactions in small but important ways that could have long-term consequences on our lives. After spending the last few decades hearing, “Don’t talk to strangers,” we understandably feel some trepidation about talking to people we don’t know. But choosing to reach out to another human being, in many circumstances, can be extremely valuable for our well-being and theirs. |
5. If you’re connecting online, be active
We often like to think — or we’ve been told — that social media like Facebook and Twitter can help us connect with others. But it turns out that using electronic devices to connect socially doesn’t work very well, at least not in the short term.
A recent study showed that our mood and feelings of social connection aren’t any better when communicating online than when not socializing at all. In fact, the more a person mainly interacts with others online, the worse their mood and the lower their feelings of social connection.
It’s human nature to need connection. So instead of passively surfing online or on social media, which we almost invariably do alone, opt instead to do something that involves the active participation of others. For example, one study found that high schoolers who more frequently chat online or use computers with friends tend to have higher-quality friendships. This suggests that technology can be used as a prop when building stronger relationships.
A recent study showed that our mood and feelings of social connection aren’t any better when communicating online than when not socializing at all. In fact, the more a person mainly interacts with others online, the worse their mood and the lower their feelings of social connection.
It’s human nature to need connection. So instead of passively surfing online or on social media, which we almost invariably do alone, opt instead to do something that involves the active participation of others. For example, one study found that high schoolers who more frequently chat online or use computers with friends tend to have higher-quality friendships. This suggests that technology can be used as a prop when building stronger relationships.
6. Connect with people on your smartphone to cope with pain
Although most of the research suggests that you should prioritize face-to-face interactions over electronic interactions, in-person interactions are not always possible. When a parent is traveling for work or a close friend has moved out of state, then what do you do?
Research suggests that electronic interactions can be beneficial for building and maintaining bonds that couldn’t otherwise exist. Actively chatting or reaching out to people whom you cannot see face-to-face does seem to have benefits, like feeling more socially connected.
In times of need, reaching out for social support on a smartphone seems to be especially helpful. For example, patients in one study were assigned to one of four groups. During a minor surgery, they had to text message a stranger, text message a companion, play a distracting game (Angry Birds) on their phone, or not use their phone at all. Ultimately, people who text-messaged either a companion or a stranger required less pain medication than those who didn’t use their smartphone at all. This research shows that we get a wide range of benefits from social connection, which smartphones can provide if no other options are available.
Research suggests that electronic interactions can be beneficial for building and maintaining bonds that couldn’t otherwise exist. Actively chatting or reaching out to people whom you cannot see face-to-face does seem to have benefits, like feeling more socially connected.
In times of need, reaching out for social support on a smartphone seems to be especially helpful. For example, patients in one study were assigned to one of four groups. During a minor surgery, they had to text message a stranger, text message a companion, play a distracting game (Angry Birds) on their phone, or not use their phone at all. Ultimately, people who text-messaged either a companion or a stranger required less pain medication than those who didn’t use their smartphone at all. This research shows that we get a wide range of benefits from social connection, which smartphones can provide if no other options are available.
In Sum
In sum, there are many potential ways that smartphones can be detrimental to our social lives. At the same time, they can make many daily tasks easier. The key is to figure out when and with whom they will be helpful or harmful.
If you can’t possibly imagine getting rid of your smartphone, keep this simple advice in mind: Connect with others, mostly in-person, and keep your smartphone stowed away in case of emergency.
Originally published by The Greater Good Science Center.
If you can’t possibly imagine getting rid of your smartphone, keep this simple advice in mind: Connect with others, mostly in-person, and keep your smartphone stowed away in case of emergency.
Originally published by The Greater Good Science Center.