Dark Night of The Soul: Meaning, Stages, & Symptoms

Learn about The Dark Night of The Soul and how to navigate its stages and symptoms.

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The Dark Night of The Soul is an experience that not everyone will go through. Those of us who do experience The Dark Night of The Soul will undergo a personal transformation where our sense of self and perception of reality dissolve. Given we are generally very attached to our identity and our idea of reality, this dissolution can be intense, unsettling, and distressing.

However, understanding what’s happening to us as we go through The Dark Night of The Soul can help us maintain our footing and hopefully move through it more easily. This article will aim to help you better understand what The Dark Night of The Soul means, The Dark Night of The Soul stages, and what you might experience in The Dark Night of The Soul.

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What is The Dark Night of The Soul? (A Definition)

The Dark Night of The Soul is a term that’s used colloquially to describe a difficult time in one’s life (Wikipedia, n.d.-a). This colloquial use generally refers to a period marked by depression or life events or challenges that force one into personal growth. Although this may be part of The Dark Night of The Soul, general depressions or life challenges aren’t actually what The Dark Night of The Soul is about.

According to John of The Cross, The Dark Night of The Soul is a phase of passive purification that occurs during spiritual awakening. It is the final stage in the journey and therefore involves the “burning away” of the self, the personal will, and all attachments so that the True Reality (All that is) can be revealed.

The Dark Night of The Soul may also be described as the process of discovering “I am nothing”. We discover we are nothing through the process of realizing that we are ‘not this’ and ‘not that’ (Wikipedia, n.d.-b). Eventually, we come to the point where there is nothing left of our self-concept.

The Dark Night of The Soul Versus Depression
Unlike depression, which may be related to a specific external life event or a shift in neurochemistry, The Dark Night of The Soul is a passive process that occurs internally. There may or may not be any challenging life events. Regardless, the distress is coming from the internal process of letting go of self-concepts and the perspective of being a separate self.

The Dark Night of The Soul often includes confusion, helplessness, and a sense of aloneness. Although difficult, it ultimately results in self-transcendence, ego death, and self-realization (Wikipedia, n.d.-a).

How Do I Know If I Am In The Dark Night of The Soul?

One of the best ways to identify if we’re in a true Dark Night of The Soul is to note whether we recently experienced a phase of illumination. Illumination is a phase where True Reality is touched but not yet grasped (Wikipedia, n.d.-a). During illumination, we experience an initial awakening (this is usually what people are talking about when they say they’ve had an awakening). This experience can manifest in a variety of ways but often includes intense, joy, gratitude, ecstasy, and rapture (Sayadaw, 1994).

Immediately following illumination, we move into a weird kind of existential depression. This is the beginning of The Dark Night of The Soul. It can begin to feel like we’ve fallen into a raging river—we are not in control of this process. All we can do is try to point our feet downstream and relax to reduce the feeling of drowning as we are tossed about the river. Our life may appear to be fine on the surface (or it may not), but the difficulty of the experience is happening internally. We’re undergoing a metamorphosis—a mental death of sorts—where our illusions, desires, personal will, and sense of self are being torn away.

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What Are The Dark Night of The Soul Stages?

When we enter The Dark Night of The Soul, we can expect to go through somewhat predictable stages. The amount of time we spend in each stage, the difficulty of each stage, and how much we move back and forth between stages will vary from person to person. Still, having a sense of where we in the process are can help us maintain presence throughout the difficulties and remember that “this too shall pass.”

Here is an overview of The Dark Night of The Soul stages:

The Dark Night of The Soul Phases According to John of the Cross
John of the Cross suggests that there are 4 main Dark Night of The Soul phases (Ascent of Mount Carmel, 2023).

The Active Night of The Senses
The Passive Night of The Senses
The Active Night of The Spirit
The Passive Night of The Spirit

The first three of these phases are preparation for what is to come. They may feel like the suffering of existence, albeit a bit more intense than usual. Several years may pass between the nights of the senses and the nights of the spirit.

It is the passive night of the spirit that marks what we refer to as The Dark Night of The Soul.

The Passive Night of The Spirit
This phase may be described as a dark tunnel. John of the Cross suggests it includes these passive processes—that is, they feel like they are happening to you and you have zero control over stopping them (Ascent of Mount Carmel, 2023):

Stripping away of mental faculties such as intellect, will, and memory.
Feelings of abandonment and aloneness.
The feeling of being deprived of good feelings, knowledge, and good memories.
Dark contemplation and removal of things we have affection for.
Feeling rejected or like an outcast even among friends and family.
The realization that the self is nothing and Reality is everything.
Multiple waves of increasingly intense and painful realizations.
The requirement for patience and letting go.

The Dark Night of The Soul Stages

We can also break down the The Dark Night of The Soul into smaller stages. Several texts have done this and I will aim to consolidate and summarize these texts below (Buddhaghosa, 2020; Ingram, 2018; Sayadaw, 1994; Vipassana Dhurs Meditation Society, n.d.). I think it’s helpful to note that these texts agree with John of the Cross that The Dark Night of The Soul starts after a period of illumination.

Illumination
Here, many of us experience what is referred to as rapture, or intense joy, exhilaration, or ecstasy, often accompanied by goosebumps all over the body (Sayadaw, 1994). Nothing disturbs us—life is as it is, and we’re not mentally bothered by things at all.

The Beginning of The Dark Night of The Soul

1. Dissolution
Dissolution marks the beginning of The Dark Night of The Soul and involves the fading away of the joy and ecstasy we experienced during the illumination stage (Ingram, 2018). This can feel like a massive loss as our joy begins to evaporate. It may also appear that the ground and sky seem to shake or vibrate (Vipassana Dhurs Meditation Society, n.d.).

2. Fear
Here, we realize that everything ends and that means everything in the future will end. This insight produces fear (Vipassana Dhurs Meditation Society, n.d.). We may confront our fear of death or the fear of losing our loved ones.

3. Misery
In this stage, we feel miserable. All conditioned things (thoughts, emotions, experiences) seem empty and unsatisfying. When we go to objects in search of comfort (e.g., TV, food, alcohol, friends, family, exercise, etc…), none of them provide any sort of comfort. Instead, they feel grating—like nails on a chalkboard.

4. Disgust
As our misery continues, it gets to the point where we can not take delight in even the most desired of objects or situations. There is absolutely no joy that can be found in any noticed object. We feel completely alone and cut off from everything (Vipassana Dhurs Meditation Society, n.d.). We become disgusted with the entire world of forms and our attachments fall away.

5. Desire for Truth
At some point, it will become crystal clear to us that there is no comfort, no joy, no happiness in the external world. So we stop wanting it. We deeply desire to escape from the world of objects, and we feel restless and unsettled (Vipassana Dhurs Meditation Society, n.d.). Here we shift to wanting nothing but the Truth, whatever it may be.

6. Re-observation
In re-observation, we review all of the previous Dark Night of The Soul stages in what feels like some kind of cruel joke. Whatever we didn't fully confront in the earlier stages will come back up for us to face again. We may feel exhausted or heavy, and we may be hot or sweaty (Vipassana Dhurs Meditation Society, n.d.). The material world is like a void, empty of anything lasting or meaningful (Buddhaghosa, 2020).

We’re just ready for the parade of horribles to be over. But somehow we know that the only way to move through the pain is to witness every painful thought, feeling, and experience. By witnessing every formation fully, without judgment, they slowly dissolve, and we eventually move out of The Dark Night of The Soul.

How Does The Dark Night of The Soul End?

We may move back and forth between stages of The Dark Night of The Soul, and eventually reach the other side. Once we’ve exited The Dark Night of The Soul, we may fall back into it if we haven't fully witnessed everything we need to witness.

The End of The Dark Night of The Soul - Equanimity
After moving through The Dark Night of The Soul, we eventually arrive at a new stage, called equanimity, which leaves us feeling indifferent. This stage may feel like a huge relief after The Dark Night of The Soul. We now refuse to let our ego-mind get attached to objects—we understand that attachment to anything only causes suffering (Sayadaw, 1994). The ego-mind still exists but it’s not in charge anymore. In fact, we can now see how everything is happening on its own.

During this stage, we may notice what is called “abandoning of fear”. If painful feelings or emotions arise, we are no longer disturbed by them. Then, we may notice what is called “abandoning of delight”. When we see desirable objects that used to bring us joy, no joy will arise. We become neutral to all formations (Sayadaw, 1994).

The Dark Night of The Soul & Ego Death
After solidifying ourselves in equanimity, we may eventually recognize that everything is impermanent, without a self, and imbued with suffering. As a result, we can experience ego death—the complete loss of our sense of being a separate self. This is the stage where we discover “I am everything”.

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Dark Night of The Soul Examples

I find these stage maps extremely helpful because my experience lines up with them almost perfectly. I experienced all the stages, in the order suggested. It wasn't until I hit misery that I really started to crumble, and the pain of each stage got worse and worse over time (as the map suggests).

To read more about the experience in each stage, check out the article on Self-Transcendence.

Once I reached equanimity, I only just touched it (I recovered my energy and felt indifferent towards everything) before quickly falling back into The Dark Night of The Soul. When I fell back into The Dark Night of The Soul, I experienced an intense 2-hour sobbing session as I witnessed the progression of a negative thought spiral.

I watched it with all my concentration. It went from loneliness to thoughts of self-harm to suicidal thoughts. Intense grief then bubbled up at the realization that these painful thoughts just arose, one after another, without me having any control over them. I then fell into pure sadness, now understanding how thought forms had controlled me throughout my life—and how they still control others. It was deeply devastating.

Dark Night of The Soul Symptoms

You may commonly hear that The Dark Night of The Soul is similar to depression (like a spiritual depression; Wikipedia, n.d.-a). Indeed, The Dark Night of The Soul can include a whole range of negative emotions including hopelessness, sadness, shame, guilt, fear, and anger. These emotions arise in response to the loss of what one previously believed to be reality.

Equally as common in The Dark Night of The Soul are physical symptoms. One may experience strange bodily movements, twitches, vibrations, itchiness, digestive upsets, sweating, and many other symptoms. It’s always best to see a doctor. Often, if you’re in The Dark Night of The Soul, the doctors won't be able to find any disease or cause for your symptoms.

Learn more about symptoms by reading our article on Kundalini Awakening.

How Long Does The Dark Night of The Soul Last?

The Dark Night of The Soul progresses at different speeds. For each person, each stage may last hours, days, weeks, months, etc… Sometimes, we may get stuck in a stage. This may be particularly likely in Western contexts where we may enter The Dark Night of The Soul without understanding what’s happening to us.

If you get stuck in an uncomfortable stage, just keep noticing your bodily experiences (e.g., what does it feel like in your body?) Try not to evaluate, name, or judge those experiences—just experience them and let them go (Vipassana Dhurs Meditation Society, n.d.). Whatever happens—no matter how blissful or terrible—just try to witness it as an observer without letting the ego come in and claim it.

Video: The Dark Night of the Soul (Losing Who We Thought We Were)

The Dark Night According to Ken Wilber

I recently found another approach to The Dark Night that I found interesting. Ken Wilber (2007) suggests that there are 3 dark nights—the dark night of the senses, the dark night of the soul, and the dark night of the self. These periods are when we let go of our attachment to (or identity with) the gross, subtle and causal bodies, respectively.

Dark Night of The Soul Quotes

“The Dark Night of the Soul is a period in life where we are stripped of everything that is false.” - Aletheia Luna
"There can be no rebirth without a dark night of the soul, a total annihilation of all that you believed in and thought that you were." - Inayat Khan
"The dark night of the soul comes just before revelation. When everything is lost, and all seems darkness, then comes the new life and all that is needed." - Joseph Campbell
“Before the full and final victory, however, the soul has to undergo another test: it must pass through the "dark night" which is a new and deeper experience of annihilation, or a crucible in which all the human elements that go to make it up are melted together.” - Roberto Assagioli
“The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die. What dies is the egoic sense of self. Of course, death is always painful, but nothing real has actually died there – only an illusory identity.” - Eckhart Tolle
"I have all the spiritual tools; none of them is going to work. None of them. That's called The Dark Night of The Soul... you have no tool left. Sit with it. Experience it fully." Jac O'Keeffe

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Articles Related to The Dark Night of the Soul

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Books Related to The Dark Night of the Soul

If you’d like to keep learning more, here are a few books that you might be interested in.

Final Thoughts on The Dark Night of the Soul

The Dark Night of The Soul can be an intensely difficult experience. It’s more than mere depression. It’s a depression-like state that results, not from external events, but from the loss of the self, identity, and perceived reality. In this article, I’ve aimed to explain the experiences and stages of The Dark Night of The Soul. Hopefully, this overview helps you navigate beyond The Dark Night of The Soul to the more pleasant stages beyond.

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Spiritual Disclaimer

Although meaningful knowledge can be found through spiritual insight, we humans filter this knowledge through our own mental frameworks. Even the best, most advanced spiritual teachers have access only to reflections of Truth, which still maintain some distortions. My truth may not equal your truth which may not equal another person’s truth. So, always check in with your Self or intuition to verify whether the spiritual information you receive resonates with your Truth.

References

Ascent of Mount Carmel. DigiCat, 2023. Summary retrieved 6/24/2024 from https://catholicstrength.com/tag/the-active-night-of-the-spirit/
Buddhaghosa, B. (2020). The path of purification: Visuddhimagga. Pariyatti.
Ingram, Daniel. (2018). Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha: An Unusually Hardcore Dharma Book - Revised and Expanded Edition. Aeon Books.
Sayadaw, M. (1994). The progress of insight: a treatise on satipatthana meditation. Buddhist Publication Society. Retrieved 6/24/2024 from https://www.vipassanadhura.com/ProgressofInsight.html
Vipassana Dhurs Meditation Society. (n.d.) Retrieved 6/21/2024 from https://www.vipassanadhura.com/sixteen.html
Wikipedia. (n.d.-a). Dark Night of The Soul. Retrieved 6/24/2024 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Night_of_the_Soul
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Neti neti. Retrieved 6/25/2024 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neti_neti
Wilber, K. (2007). Integral spirituality: A startling new role for religion in the modern and postmodern world. Shambhala Publications.

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